5. Date Movie Yet another lame, first-base spoof movie in which exagerrated repetition is mistaken for comedy.

4. An American Haunting The only good thing you can say about Courney Solomon's tragic ghost-horror is that it's not as bad as his last movie, Dungeons & Dragons.

3. Three Sure, it has Kelly Brook in a bikini, but what you actually have here is a film about an argument over a knife and some goggles.

2. Ultraviolet It's vampires… in the future! Daft concept, dire performances, risible script - watch as Kurt 'Equilibrium' Wimmer hammers the final nail into his own career-coffin.

1. Get Rich Or Die Tryin' Ludicrous, egomaniacal stuff - somehow expecting us to sympathise with some dim, drug-dealing thug just because he's played by some rap star. What on earth was Jim Sheridan thinking?