NEWS FEATURE Police Academy Reunion We look at the senior citizens on patrol
It's the sequel you never thought you'd see but Police Academy 8 is finally on its way - at least, that's what Steve Guttenberg would have you believe. But who fromt he original dream team will return for one last walk of the beat? We take a look at the stars of Police Academys past to see what they're up to these days.
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1 David Graf Age: Deceased Played: The lovable gun nut, Eugene Tackleberry No. of Police Academy films: Graf went one better than George Gaynes, by notching all seven films AND the TV show. Where Are They Now: Sadly, though, he died of a sudden heart attack in 2001, aged just 50. Tack, you were taken too soon.
2 Michael Winslow Age: 50 Played: Larvelle Jones. Or, as you might know him, the guy who makes all those amazing noises that sound EXACTLY like gunfire, videogames and dry leaves. No, really – they sound EXACTLY like that. No. of Police Academy films: He may well be Mr. Police Academy, with a 100% attendance record. That includes 27 episodes of the TV show. 27! We’re not sure if anyone out there has even watched 27 episodes of the TV show, but Winslow made ’em! Where Are They Now: Still pretty busy in a variety of films, TV shows and commercials, where he… you know… does the voice thing. It's STILL uncanny.
3 Andrew Rubin Age: 62 Played: The lothario, George Martin, who disguises himself as a woman so he can get into the ladies’ dorm and have his wicked way with them. Oh, and he lies about being Italian. No. of Police Academy films: One only. Where Are They Now: In fact, that was Rubin’s last movie – we’d guess that he was shunted aside for the sequel because he shared too many characteristics with Mahoney. However, given that his last TV appearance was in 1998, it’s also probable that Rubin just quit screen acting. Certainly, our detailed search of Google threw up no answers, and we even went to the third page. NOBODY goes to the third page.
4 Leslie Easterbrook Age: 59 Played: Buxom instructor Sgt. Callahan, who mesmerised recruits with, ‘ow you zay, the size of her bosoms. No. of Police Academy films: She missed out on Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment, before somebody realised that massive boobs catered directly to the Police Academy demographic. She even turned up in the TV show, now a D.A. Where Are They Now: She’s been busy MILFing it in movies like The Heartbreak Kid, and has become part of Rob Zombie’s fold, turning up in The Devil’s Rejects and Halloween.
5 Bruce Mahler Age: 58 Played: The nervy, bespectacled, accident-prone Douglas Fackler. No. of Police Academy films: Four. Curiously, he was in the first three, then didn’t show up again until City Under Siege (the sixth film). And then he didn’t pack his bags for the Mission To Moscow. Where Are They Now: If you’re ever on a film set and you see a guy on the crew who looks a lot like that guy from the Police Academy films... don't think you’re going nuts. It could well be him: Mahler’s last credited film work was as Assistant Production Manager on Freddy vs. Jason...
6 Marion Ramsey Age: 61 Played: The lovable, mousy Cadet Hooks, whose timid whisper of a voice would always – always – give way to an ASSERTIVE YELL by the movie's end. No. of Police Academy films: The first six. Where Are They Now: She hasn’t done a lot since the Police Academy series (to be frank, the first six films were her first six films, period). She’ll next be seen, along with Bubba Smith, in DaZe: Vol Too. But the thing we REALLY want to see is her appearance in John Virgo: Playing For Laughs, a trick shot-centric video from 1993. If anyone out there has it, please, PLEASE, send it in.
7 Bubba Smith Age: 63 Played: Walking colossus, Moses Hightower No. of Police Academy films: The 6'7" former American football player did that thing where bad guys run into him, then he stands up to reveal his full height while they shit their pants in just six Academy films. He drew the line at Mission To Moscow, although he did turn up in the TV show for one episode. Where Are They Now: He has two films in the can, including the curiously-titled DaZe: Vol. Too, in which he plays... Bubba.
8 G.W. Bailey Age: 64 Played: Hard-nosed pedant, Lt. Harris No. of Police Academy films: 6 – Bailey bailed for Police Academy 3, before coming back for the last batch. Where Are They Now: Movie-wise, his voice turn as Rusty, the dog in Home On The Range has been the highlight. But since 2005, he’s been picking up a regular paycheque on the Kyra Sedgwick cop show, The Closer, as another Lieutenant. But his Provenza is much, much nicer than Harris. Mind you, that’s not difficult.
9 Donovan Scott Age: 62 Played: Fat cadet, Leslie Barbara, victim of some of the film's worst bullying No. of Police Academy films: Just the one. Where Are They Now: His most recent film was the Lindsay Lohan disaster, I Know Who Killed Me (where he played a sheriff, so he got promoted at last), but he’s cropped up on the likes of My Name Is Earl, Bones and Boston Legal of late.
10 Steve Guttenberg Age: 50 Played: Carey Mahoney, the charming and cocky leader of the gang No. of Police Academy films: Four – he left after Citizens On Patrol, to pursue a career of megastardom elsewhere. Take a wild guess what happened next. Where Are They Now: He seems to be the principal mover and shaker behind Police Academy 8, after a couple of decades scratching around in bad movies. An attempt at reinvention as a DTV action hero didn’t work, mainly because he’s a bit rubbish.
11 Kim Cattrall Age: 52 Played: Flirty cadet, Karen Thompson No. of Police Academy films: Just the one. She got out when the going was good. Where Are They Now: The most famous graduate from the Academy, Cattrall wound up in Big Trouble In Little China, was the eponymous heroine in Mannequin (again, bailing for the sequel) and, of course, played the man-eating Samantha in Sex And The City. Was last seen getting her norks out in public to promote a painting.
12 George Gaynes Age: 91 Played: Unforgettably, the bumbling, kindly Commandant Eric Lassard, the franchise’s finest character. Altogether now: "In slide... TWOOOO!" No. of Police Academy films: Ladies and gentlemen, we have our first 100% record. Where Are They Now: Presumably enjoying a well-earned retirement. He hasn’t made a film since 2003, and we wish him good health. Sadly, considering his age, it’s unlikely he’ll return for Part 8.
Lance Kinsey Age: 49 Played: Proctor, the incompetent yet well-meaning assistant to whoever happened to be the bureaucratic villain of the piece, be it Mauser in parts 2 & 3, and Harris thereafter. No. of Police Academy films: 2 - 6. Where Are They Now: Not good. He showed up in lame comedies National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1 and Silence Of The Hams, did some writing on forgettable TV shows and was last seen in 2008’s BuzzKill. Which pretty much describes his career post-Police Academy.
Bobcat Goldthwait Age: 46 Played: The screeching maniac Zed, a villain in Police Academy 2 who, like Jaws in Moonraker, converted to the side of the angels for the next instalment. No. of Police Academy films: 2, 3 and 4. Where Are They Now: An edgy comedian and performance artist, Goldthwait – who actually does talk like that, if a slightly more refined version – is now best known as a director of pitch-black comedies like Sleeping Dogs Lie (where a woman enjoys, erm, sexual congress with a dog), the upcoming World’s Greatest Dad (where Robin Williams plays a dad who tries to cover up his son’s suicide) and the greatest alcoholic clown movie in the history of alcoholic clown movies, Shakes The Clown. Oh, and he’s now Bob Goldthwait. It’s more respectable.
Colleen Camp Age: 55 Played: The tomboyish Kathleen Kirkland, who became Kathleen Kirkland-Tackleberry by part four. No. of Police Academy films: 2, and 4. Where Are They Now: A respected actress, you’ll have seen Camp in the likes of Die Hard With A Vengeance, and the forthcoming Four Christmases. She’s also reinvented herself as a producer on Philip Noyce’s thriller, Above Suspicion, which is just about to start shooting.
Sharon Stone Age: 50 Played: Claire Mattson, the love interest in Police Academy 4: Citizens On Patrol. No. of Police Academy films: She made COP in 1987. Three years later came Total Recall. Two years after that, Basic Instinct made her the biggest female star on the planet. How many Police Academy films do you think she made? Where Are They Now: Easily the most famous actor to have been associated with the series (sorry, Gerrit Graham), Stone’s career may not be the rocket ship to the stars it once was, but there’s still no earthly reason to suspect that she’ll show up in Part 8, no matter what Steve Guttenberg might think. Mind you, she did do Basic Instinct 2, so all bets may well be off...
