The fuzz buzz: He may not write the songs, he may not even choose the stage decoration, but as the moustachioed bassist of music gods Spinal Tap, Derek Smalls sure as hell rocks our world. As the only bearded member of the supergroup, it's Derek's fabulous facial hair that turns these heavy metallers all the way up to eleven.

Hair style? The perfect example of a true rock 'n' roll handlebar.

Tache'll do No need to stuff a cucumber down your pants, this is one virile-looking moustache.

Hirsutes you sir? The fourth member of Spinal Tap? That'll be Derek's face fungus - 9/10.