Proprietor: John Malkovich

Location: Eastbourne, Cardiff & Cheltenham, UK

When we visualise a hotel owned by John Malkovich we see space pods, dwarves with dusters and a boudoir the size of Versailles. As it turns out, that's not far off the mark. There are no dwarves but, thanks partly to Malkovich's penchant for design, the Eastbourne seafront spot he invested in with chocolate heir Cosmo Fry looks like the sort of place Stanley Kubrick might have stayed at had he fancied a trip to the seaside. There are now three of the noir-inspired hotels. The Big Sleep in Cardiff opened in 2000 with one of the most demented PR stunts of all time, as Malkovich climbed into bed with 300 Welsh secretaries. Still, at least it wasn't the other way round - we saw 300 Malkovichs in Being John Malkovich and it thoroughly wigged us out.