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So Robin Hood (Kevin Costner) has finished off the dastardly Sheriff of Nottingham (after a fabulously protracted, wonderfully operatic death scene) and stumbles towards the waiting arms of Maid Marion (Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio) – when from nowhere appears a shrieking witch, rushing him with a hefty boar spear. The only way he could possibly survive would be if Morgan Freeman’s Azeem were able to kick down the heavy English oak door (previously impervious to damage), throw his scimitar overarm in a lazy spin and land a witch kebab. Which, thankfully for our hero, is exactly what happens. Now that’s how you buckle a swash.
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