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Film Studies 101
Feature
Movie Characters Who Could Crush The Olympics
Is it cheating to put superheroes and aliens against athletes?

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People sometimes talk about “Film Land”, that amorphous place that exists only on the screen. But why should it be amorphous? If you ask us, Film Land should be recognised by the UN and, crucially, by the International Olympics Committee, allowing it to send a team to the Games. Here is the line-up we’d choose…

WORDS HELEN O'HARA
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Movie Characters Who Could Crush The Olympics | Shot Put
Shot Put

Film Land Competitor: Hulk (Eric Bana / Edward Norton / Mark Ruffalo)
From:
Hulk (2003); The Incredible Hulk (2008); The Avengers (2012)

Shot put involves throwing a ball that weighs 7.26 kilograms as far as possible, without stepping outside the circumference of a circle 7ft wide. Competitors use different styles of throw, most popularly a spin motion or a glide motion. We’re proposing that Hulk give it a go. Assuming he could fit his feet inside the circle, we know for a fact that he can throw a tank over a mile, so this should be a doddle. Someone just tell Edinburgh to look out for flying objects, eh? Hulk, incidentally, will also be smashing records in the long jump and weight lifting events but has agreed not to compete in any other events for the sake of international athletics morale. Referees and officials, meanwhile, have been prescribed valium and protective tanks.
 

Current world record: 23.12m
Anticipated world record: 534.26km

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Your Comments

1 And more besides....
How about Neo for Tae-Kwon-Do? Or those Zombie Nurses from Silent Hill for Women's Hockey? Who's going to want to get close enough to them to get the ball off them? How about a set of WB cartoon characters for Basketball? They should make a movie about that? ;-) More

Posted by evilpickle4 on Thursday August 9, 2012, 14:25

2 And more besides....
How about Neo for Tae-Kwon-Do? Or those Zombie Nurses from Silent Hill for Women's Hockey? Who's going to want to get close enough to them to get the ball off them? How about a set of WB cartoon characters for Basketball? They should make a movie about that? ;-) More

Posted by evilpickle4 on Thursday August 9, 2012, 14:16

3 Legolas > Katniss
nuff said More

Posted by spate42 on Thursday August 9, 2012, 13:43

4 Spiderman for any gymnastics event,,, YEEESSS,,, HIGH FIVE
God, I need to get back to work,, as if the actually Olympics weren't enough of a distraction! Damn you Empire, but keep up the good work!! More

Posted by Jamie_M on Wednesday August 8, 2012, 16:39

5 RE: Surely it would be Inigo Montoya for the fencing?!
Inigo "you killed my father, prepare to die!" Montoya lost to Wesley "I'm not left handed either" :) More

Posted by DanTDavies on Wednesday August 8, 2012, 10:16


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