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Feature
10 Movie Astronauts You Wouldn’t Want To Be Stuck In Space With
Bad company for when you’re headed to infinity... and beyond!

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Gravity is out this week, featuring George Clooney’s level-headed space veteran and Sandra Bullock’s nervy first-timer. It all got us thinking: if you were lost in space, there are several cinematic crewmen you might not want to find sharing your space capsule... Here, then, are some astronuts to avoid at all costs.

WORDS JAMES WHITE
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10 Movie Astronauts You Wouldn’t Want To Be Stuck In Space With | Dark Star (1974)
Dark Star (1974)

Characters: Lt. Doolittle (Brian Narelle), Sgt. Pinback (Dan O’Bannon), Boiler (Dre Pahich), Talby (Cal Kuniholm)

Sent space-crazy with boredom thanks to a long mission and a perpetually malfunctioning ship, this bunch of loons has mostly turned to staring at the stars, building bottle organs, trying some laser cannon target practice or smoking a hefty cigar collection to get them through the dull days of interstellar travel. Oh, and they’re also at the mercy of a chatty, very dangerous bomb. Were this lot part of your crew, you’d probably wish for a quick death, like the fuel specialist who walked into a tank to commit suicide rather than serve with them.
 

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Have Your Say
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Your Comments

1 What!
So like... Where was Ash of the Nostromo!? Who made this list? And IBM as a charecter??? Have a better one... More

Posted by centigrade west on Friday November 15, 2013, 19:04

2
KHANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!! More

Posted by DanTDavies on Wednesday November 13, 2013, 10:43

3 RE:
Unbelievable, Burke and Ash not mentioned, maybe even Fifield!!!!! what about Khan? More

Posted by McLovin1981 on Monday November 11, 2013, 21:36

4
Today I learned that Hal 9000 is an astronaut. More

Posted by loafroaster on Monday November 11, 2013, 11:17

5 Lambert
Lambert from Alien should be in here by dint of being absolutely sodding useless More

Posted by mickybeakes on Sunday November 10, 2013, 01:01

6 As below……..
Where the hell are Ash and Burke! Both defo deserve mentions! More

Posted by guysalisbury on Thursday November 7, 2013, 19:02

7 Solaris - Kelvin not Klein!
Clooney's character in Solaris does not "share a name with Chris Klein" since he's called Chris Kelvin... More

Posted by fiercehairdo on Thursday November 7, 2013, 18:01

8 Burke
Burke from Aliens came to mind when I first saw this More

Posted by deathrow962 on Thursday November 7, 2013, 16:34

9 Ash
Sorely missing Ian Holm's Ash here. More

Posted by Workshed on Thursday November 7, 2013, 13:03

10 Event horizon
I assume Chris wrote this with an obligatory/incessant mention of Event Horizon More

Posted by Matthewmoore1987 on Thursday November 7, 2013, 12:28

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