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The Expendables 2 Viewers' Guide
What to watch before (and after) the explosive action sequel

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Sylvester Stallone Arnold Schwarzenegger Dolph Lundgren Jean-Claude Van Damme Jason Statham Terry Crews Chuck Norris Bruce Willis Jet Li

Armed with only a mullet, a pistol and his legs, Wham Bam Van Damme delivers the finest action performance of his career thanks to the manic direction of John Woo. Sure, the story is as thin as your oldest pair of socks, but the action set-pieces are jaw dropping, allowing JCVD to kick baddies off their motorbikes and forward roll over a moving jeep. As an extra bonus, he punches a snake in the head, then bites its rattle off – making Jean Claude the hardest human being ever to rock double denim.

The trailer for JCVD introduces the symbol for the studio behind it, Gaumont, with a Petit Prince-like silhouette story about Van Damme arguing with Gaumont's mascot over a flower… before he roundhouse kicks the youngster about the face. Straight off the bat, you know this isn't your average martial arts movie – if it's a martial arts movie at all. In fact, it's a post-modern thriller that looks like a spoof, a fictional representation of the real-life JCVD as he loses all his money, self-respect and ability to kick people upside the head. File this one under "Potential Oscar nomination" – no, really.

The writers of the 1996 double-length Friends episode in which Van Damme appeared, The One After The Superbowl, reportedly found it so difficult to coin jokes that worked for Jean-Claude that they eventually came up with bizarrely intonated 'Van Damme-proof' catchphrases like "I can crack a walnut with my butt." But despite his purported inability to crack gags, there's no doubt about Van Damme's sense of humour: JCVD itself proved his self-awareness, Kickboxer his ability to dance drunk (a key comedy technique) and Kung Fu Panda 2 showed his kiddy-friendly side as he voices the menacing, scaly Master Croc.

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1 NOBODYS FOOL is a masterpiece
forget 12 monkeys and pulp fiction the best work on screen he ever did was this really beauty full dramedy with paul newman in 1994 called NOBODYS FOOL watch it please trust me it will make you fall in love with cinema all over again Read More

Posted on Saturday August 18, 2012, 04:39 by bill the butcher

2 "Dark Angel" aka "I Come In Peace" (US Title)
For the record, Dark Angel with Dolph Lundgren has my favourite movie line of all-time. After Dolph and his partner arrest the alien villain, he promptly self-destructs on the back seat of their cop car. "Did you see that?" Dolph says to partner Brian Benben. "Did I see it?" Benben replies, "it nearly blew my fucking face off!" Read More

Posted on Friday August 17, 2012, 21:27 by BenTramer

3 Stallone's Demolition Man is the funniest film he's ever made, far funnier than his alleged comedies like Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot or Oscar. As for First Blood, I totally agree with Empire that it's "a first-rate, taught action thriller that still doesn't quite get the respect it deserves." First Blood was tainted by unproven association with Hungerford spree killer Michael Ryan. The book of First Blood is even better with many things left out that should have been in the movie and would have improved things even more (but DON'T remake it, please!) Read More

Posted on Friday August 17, 2012, 21:12 by BenTramer


Posted on Friday August 17, 2012, 14:45 by colinnaraine

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