Register  |   Log In  |  
Sign up to our weekly newsletter    
Search   
Empire Magazine and iPad
Follow Me on Pinterest YouTube Tumblr Viber
Empire
Trending On Empire
The Big 2015 Movie Preview
The 50 Best Films Of 2014
Review Of The Year 2014
100 Greatest Characters
Your all-time favourite heroes and villains
Subscribe To Empire
Sign up now and save 44%
Classic Scene

4

FIVE EASY PIECES
"Hold the chicken..."

SETTING THE SCENE  Bobby Dupea has rejected a cultured background and musical career to drift aimlessly, but he agrees to return home to see his invalid father. En route Bobby, girlfriend Rayette and two cranky hitchhikers stop for breakfast at a coffee shop, where Bobby not unreasonably wants some toast…

BOBBY: I’d like a plain omelet, no potatoes, tomatoes instead, a cup of coffee and wheat toast.

WAITRESS: No substitutions.

BOBBY: What do you mean? You don’t have any tomatoes?

WAITRESS: Only what’s on the menu. You can have a Number Two. A plain omelet. It comes with cottage fries and rolls.

BOBBY: Naw, I know what it comes with, but its not what I want.

WAITRESS: Well, I’ll come back when you make up your mind.

BOBBY: Wait a minute, I have made up my mind. I’d like a plain omelet, no potatoes on the plate, a cup of coffee and a side order of wheat toast.

WAITRESS: I’m sorry, we don’t have any side orders of toast. I’ll give you an English muffin or a coffee roll.

BOBBY: What do you mean you don’t make side orders of toast? You make sandwiches, don’t you?

WAITRESS: Would you like to talk to the manager?

BOBBY: You’ve got bread? And a toaster of some kind?

WAITRESS: I don’t make the rules.

BOBBY: Okay, I’ll make it as easy for you as I can. I’d like an omelet. Plain. And a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast. No mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee.

WAITRESS: A Number Two. Chicken sal san. Hold the butter, the lettuce and the mayonnaise. And a cup of coffee.

BOBBY: Yeah. Now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich and you haven’t broken any rules.

WAITRESS: You want me to hold the chicken, huh?

BOBBY: I want you to hold it between your knees.

WAITRESS: You see that sign sir? Yes, y’all have to leave. I’m not taking any more of your smartness and sarcasm. (Bobby puts on his sunglasses)

BOBBY: You see this sign? (He violently swipes everything off the table.)

Back to Classic Scene selection

Have Your Say
Register or login now to let us know what you think.


CURRENT HIGHLIGHTS
Black Mass Trailer Breakdown With Director Scott Cooper
Find out what's what with Johnny Depp's take on Boston Gangster Whitey Bulger

The N.W.A-Team
Empire visits the set of Straight Outta Compton

Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation
Read Empire's official verdict

Empire Meets Joely Richardson
On Maggie, Arnie and Event Horizon

100 Greatest Movie Characters
The complete list of your all-time favourite heroes and villains

Vote Now For Your Favourite TV Shows
Pick your top five - if you can...

Paul Rudd Is Awesome
Being awesome: from Clueless to Ant-Man

Subscribe to Empire magazine
Empire print magazine

Delivered to your door – with exclusive subscriber only covers each month!

Subscribe now!

Subscribe to Empire iPad edition
Empire digital magazine

Exclusive and enhanced content – get instant access via your iPad or Android device

Subscribe now!

Subscribe now and save up to 67%
Print, Digital & Package options available Subscribe today!
Empire's Film Studies 101 Series
Everything you ever wanted to know about filmmaking but were afraid to ask...
The Empire Digital Edition
With exclusive extras, interactive features, trailers and much more! Download now
Home  |  News  |  Blogs  |  Reviews  |  Future Films  |  Features  |  Interviews  |  Images  |  Competitions  |  Forum  |  Digital Edition  |  Podcast  |  Magazine Contact Us  |  Empire FAQ  |  Subscribe To Empire  |  Register
© Bauer Consumer Media Ltd  |  Legal Info  |  Editorial Complaints  |  Privacy Policy  |  Bauer Entertainment Network
Bauer Consumer Media Ltd (company number 01176085 and registered address 1 Lincoln Court, Lincoln Road, Peterborough, England PE1 2RF)