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Anchorman, Explained
We dissect the comedy classic in mathematical form

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The news that an Anchorman sequel is officially underway has us all a-flutter, so let’s take a moment to look back on the first film in graphic form, and consider the lessons that we took away from it. Lessons? Oh yes, this wasn't just a laugh-riot, a brilliantly improvised and utterly anarchic adventure in great suits and impeccable moustaches - no, there were wise life lessons to be gleaned from the film as well, and we’ve gathered a few below. After all, if we can’t learn from the 1970s' premier San Diego news team, who can we learn from?

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Ingredients Of A Successful News Anchor


Brick Loves

Rules In An Anchorman Battle

The Smell Of Sex Panther

Times When Milk Is A Good Choice

News That Matters

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Your Comments

1 New found love for Anchorman
I think it is worth noting, that when the film came out originally, Empire had a different editor (and reviewers) at the time. I am not sure if was Emma Cochrane was editor, or who the reviewer was, its no longer on the sites review. Who ever the editor (or head honcho) was back then, I found the magazine and website had a much more balanced view of reviews, future films and stars and generally stayed clear of hype. I find it quite disappointing now, that although the magazine/website is still the best out there for news and most features, we are now bombarded with hyperbole for almost everything (most recently Anchorman). We also get c*&p like this churned out when the work experience kids have cleaned everything and need something to do. Ultimately, the film is very funny and has many memorable lines and moments (a lot of which is covered in this "dissection") but that is all it has, it does not involve anything particularly challenging in the way of directing,acting, eMore

Posted by Leonard or Sammy on Monday April 2, 2012, 13:52

2 What a bunch of moaning old women
Anchorman is cult comedy class. Great news on a sequel, and fingers crossed it wont suck. Dont worry, Wes Anderson has a new comedy out soon. More

Posted by Teamwak on Monday April 2, 2012, 13:02

Do Empire have a new coffee boy trying to show off how well he can use Publisher? Flippin' nora. You gave this film 3 stars in the original review as well, what's with all the hype? More

Posted by jimmyakey on Sunday April 1, 2012, 14:11

Just to point out, Empire - it's "make Sinatra look like a Hobo." More

Posted by nucleargibbon on Sunday April 1, 2012, 12:24

5 Throw The Anchor Overboard
Honestly, the way some people talk about Anchorman, you'd swear it was Some Like It Hot. Elf is Will Ferrell's funniest movie by a mile and it stands up to repeat viewing. I tried watching Anchorman and got bored and didn't find it funny. More

Posted by BenTramer on Saturday March 31, 2012, 14:15

6 Sex Panther
Fries my brain thinking how you'd represent it but you missed 'What percentage of the time does Sex Panther work?" More

Posted by tommypocket on Saturday March 31, 2012, 08:36

They say a picture speaks a thousand words, and these graphics are brilliant. Made me chuckle - well done Empire, sometimes simplicity is the best, and hardest, way to put your message across. More

Posted by stilli666 on Friday March 30, 2012, 20:32

Anchorman isn't a great film, but the actors and the quotability are awesome More

Posted by MovieMetaller on Friday March 30, 2012, 17:50

9 RE:
I really am the only person in the world who doesn't think Anchorman is funny. More

Posted by goeman on Friday March 30, 2012, 16:58

With all the love you've been smearing over Anchorman the last 2 days you'd almost think you didn't give it 3 stars and say Dodgeball was better. More

Posted by a_man_and_his_monkey on Friday March 30, 2012, 16:57

Slow day at the Empire Office or do you have a new graphic artist wanting to show their skills off??? This is the second picture description done today, not that I didnt find this or the James Cameron one funny. More

Posted by adsey51 on Friday March 30, 2012, 16:45

You turned out in your hundreds and thousands, and here are the results... Browse the full list

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