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Feature
The 30 Greatest Star Wars Characters
From Admiral Ackbar to... Yoda - we count down Lucas' best creations

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The 30 Greatest Star Wars Characters | 25. Gamorrean Guards
25. Gamorrean Guards

Without doubt the dumbest denizens of the many-fangled Star Wars multiverse (and that includes such chronic dimwits as Jar Jar Binks and those hapless stormtroopers), these porcine dupes, fat and green like Shrek but without the stroppy Scottish comebacks, have developed a cult following largely due to their action figure offering great VFM. They were twice the size of any other, and had an appealing troll-like quality as if they had just stumbled in from Middle-earth.

The original remit from Lucas simply read "pig guard", which designer Ralph McQuarrie turned into more gorilla-like humanoids, before Joe Johnston added the wild-boar aspect of the tusks and snouts, taking them back to pre-industrial thugs likelier to be carrying an axe than a good blaster. Which kind of makes their position as galactic bouncers open to question.

They are, after all, highly susceptible to Jedi mind-tricks, as evinced by Luke suggesting his name was, in fact, down on the list for entry to Jabba's palace. But the giant mobster-slug still picked them for his security (apparently they are cheap and effective over short distances), even if their enjoyably vacant, slobbering demeanour makes them more lovable than intimidating.

Inside the rubbery carapace you can't help but picture a British stuntman sweating under the strain and stumbling about like a wobbly drunk, and you have to look to the Expanded Universe for any stand-out individuals from the Gamorrean populous.

For here we meet "Piggy", who was intellectually spruced up by the Empire's Binring Biomedical Corporation, before escaping their evil facility and joining the Rebellion. He made a name for himself as an analyst on Han Solo's anti-Zsinj taskforce, which sure beats being eaten by a rancor... IAN NATHAN

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Your Comments

1 WTF?
AS usual this list is screwy, how does Portmans stroppy bitch beat Windu? Windu chopped off Jango Fetts head and he gets stepped over by a fucking biker scout? A princess? Some red draped security guard from the Death Star? Probaly the greatest JEDI ever, and you miscreants piss on his eternal memory. Fuck all y' all ! More

Posted by DAVIDK on Wednesday June 19, 2013, 13:09

2
Dannybohy, if you stopped reading Empire in the 90s, what you still doing here? My Name is Legion, it's not the 30 most important characters but the 30 greatest characters! Sheesh! More

Posted by zeech1941 on Wednesday November 7, 2012, 19:18

3
Dannybohy, if you stopped reading Empire in the 90s, what you still doing here? My Name is Legion, it's not the 30 most important characters but the 30 greatest characters! Sheesh! More

Posted by zeech1941 on Wednesday November 7, 2012, 18:23

4 RE:
Empire haven't got a clue. This is exactly why I stopped buying the magazine religiously like i did in the mid 90s!, the fecking stupids lists!! everybody likes a list, but every damn issue and always complete and utter shite. More

Posted by Dannybohy on Wednesday November 7, 2012, 14:41

5
Yoda 'species indeterminate?' actually Yoda is a Whyll. Star wars.com says so? It's just a shame he never got to win a light saber fight, the chance to name a DVD chapter 'The Triumph ofvthe Whyll ' would have been hard to resist More

Posted by PaoloCorleone on Monday November 5, 2012, 14:37

6 Bad Mother Fucka
Mace Windu no 29??? Biatch please... More

Posted by JohnMcClane81 on Saturday November 3, 2012, 20:58

7 The Pilots
Where is Wedge Antilles, he survived both Deathstar runs. Where is Biggs Darklighter, he died that we might live. More

Posted by Avoid on Saturday November 3, 2012, 11:42

8 Interesting point by Legion!
Boba Fette is a cool character but Luke should surely be above him. Only other change would be Darth Vader at number 1. More

Posted by guysalisbury on Friday November 2, 2012, 13:30

9 Sam Jackson is great, but Mace Windu isn't
Anakin Skywalker, Mace Windu, Padme Amidala and Count Dooku were some of the worst written, one dimensional, no-depth characters ever to grace the big screen, they were definitely not great creations and should not be included in this list. More

Posted by Jamie_M on Friday November 2, 2012, 13:20

10
Oh yeah forgot too say...fck luke Skywalker, Han is the man More

Posted by UncleFknBully on Friday November 2, 2012, 11:58

11
Wtf...where is Salacious B.Crumb? More

Posted by UncleFknBully on Friday November 2, 2012, 11:55

12
Congratulations Empire on once again completely missing the point when it comes to what made Star Wars work. Luke Skywalker is the most important character. Why? Because he represents us, our longing to be somebody, to do something important, to escape from the mundane and grow as an individual. The binary sunset scene alone pisses all over the entire prequel trilogy. Yet you place him 7th, below Boba Fett! A nothing character when you actually look past all the fanboy shite. You didn't get it thirteen years ago, and you still don't get it now. More

Posted by My name is Legion on Friday November 2, 2012, 02:46

13 Excellent List
I agree with this list almost 100%, although I wouldn't have included some of the lame, one-dimensional prequel pseudo-characters like Mace Windu. (Actually, with the exception of Darth Maul, I probably would've left the prequels out entirely. Those movies, after all, don't feature characters so much as merchandising opportunities.) In Windu's place I would've added Grand Moff Tarkin, somewhere higher on the list. More

Posted by intelandroid on Thursday November 1, 2012, 23:45


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