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The 30 Greatest Star Wars Characters
From Admiral Ackbar to... Yoda - we count down Lucas' best creations
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9. Stormtrooper
Let's face it: without stormtroopers, Star Wars would be a lot less cool. The Rebels are stuck with orange jumpsuits, dodgy tunics (stand up, Admiral Ackbar) and over-sized helmets, while their Imperial counterparts strut around in the pimpest-looking outfits in the history of sci-fi. The stormtrooper aesthetic is the perfect fusion of style and menace: crisp and gleaming white (yes, white! The bad guys wear white!). The helmet is insectoid, detached, inhuman. The equipment is state-of-the-art, from blaster rifle to belt-held thermal detonator. Significantly, it's the only costume from the original trilogy that still looks futuristic 30 years on. Their enduring popularity is evident, from dedicated websites to the reconstructed costumes flaunted at geeky conferences. There are a variety of flavours to pledge allegiance to: as well as the plain old ;vanilla' troopers, a long list of speciality divisions including snowtroopers (ice-boots, burka), scout troopers (funky visor, speeder bike) and sand troopers. Non-canon fan fiction has created even more, from magma troopers to shadowtroopers - which are, says Wookieepedia, "stormtrooper-Dark Jedi soldier hybrids". Whatever their training, stormtroopers share an absolute allegiance to the Empire. What they also share is an inability to fight effectively, something which has turned these faceless soldier-drones into hapless comedy icons. A New Hope attempts to instil them with some genuine menace, as Ben Kenobi, holed up in the Tatooine badlands, whispers of their deadliness: "These blast points; only Imperial stormtroopers are this precise." If so they proved, the Rebellion would certainly have failed. Instead, they run around the Death Star like space-age Keystone Kops, continually failing to hit their targets and, in the case of two particularly useless troopers, getting bopped over the head by our heroes. Somehow, their ineptitude has made them all the more beloved. There's particular affection for the one poor grunt who bumps his head on a door in A New Hope. The clip has been visited more than 850,000 times on YouTube, and George Lucas, aware that he'd never manage to erase this blooper from the minds of fans, went the other way and added a comedy "boink!" sound effect on the remastered DVD. Outside of the films, the cult lives on. There's the Cops-spoofing fan short, entitled Troops, that depicts them as beleaguered law-enforcers on Tatooine; a camp, all-singing, all-dancing appearance on the Donnie And Marie Show Star Wars Special; a guest appearance at a Microsoft rally in 2005; and most recently, a spectacular formation of 200 infantrymen at this year's Rose Bowl Parade - according to one breathless commentator, "the largest gathering of stormtroopers ever assembled". They might not be able to shoot for shit, but they sure can march.
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| 1 | | Dannybohy, if you stopped reading Empire in the 90s, what you still doing here?
My Name is Legion, it's not the 30 most important characters but the 30 greatest characters! Sheesh! More
| Posted by zeech1941 on Wednesday November 7, 2012, 19:18 |
| | 2 | | Dannybohy, if you stopped reading Empire in the 90s, what you still doing here?
My Name is Legion, it's not the 30 most important characters but the 30 greatest characters! Sheesh! More
| Posted by zeech1941 on Wednesday November 7, 2012, 18:23 |
| | 3 | RE: | Empire haven't got a clue. This is exactly why I stopped buying the magazine religiously like i did in the mid 90s!, the fecking stupids lists!! everybody likes a list, but every damn issue and always complete and utter shite. More
| Posted by Dannybohy on Wednesday November 7, 2012, 14:41 |
| | 4 | | Yoda 'species indeterminate?' actually Yoda is a Whyll. Star wars.com says so? It's just a shame he never got to win a light saber fight, the chance to name a DVD chapter 'The Triumph ofvthe Whyll ' would have been hard to resist More
| Posted by PaoloCorleone on Monday November 5, 2012, 14:37 |
| | 5 | Bad Mother Fucka | Mace Windu no 29??? Biatch please... More
| Posted by JohnMcClane81 on Saturday November 3, 2012, 20:58 |
| | 6 | The Pilots | Where is Wedge Antilles, he survived both Deathstar runs.
Where is Biggs Darklighter, he died that we might live. More
| Posted by Avoid on Saturday November 3, 2012, 11:42 |
| | 7 | Interesting point by Legion! | Boba Fette is a cool character but Luke should surely be above him. Only other change would be Darth Vader at number 1. More
| Posted by guysalisbury on Friday November 2, 2012, 13:30 |
| | 8 | Sam Jackson is great, but Mace Windu isn't | Anakin Skywalker, Mace Windu, Padme Amidala and Count Dooku were some of the worst written, one dimensional, no-depth characters ever to grace the big screen, they were definitely not great creations and should not be included in this list. More
| Posted by Jamie_M on Friday November 2, 2012, 13:20 |
| | 9 | | Oh yeah forgot too say...fck luke Skywalker, Han is the man
More
| Posted by UncleFknBully on Friday November 2, 2012, 11:58 |
| | 10 | | Wtf...where is Salacious B.Crumb? More
| Posted by UncleFknBully on Friday November 2, 2012, 11:55 |
| | 11 | | Congratulations Empire on once again completely missing the point when it comes to what made Star Wars work.
Luke Skywalker is the most important character. Why? Because he represents us, our longing to be somebody, to do something important, to escape from the mundane and grow as an individual. The binary sunset scene alone pisses all over the entire prequel trilogy.
Yet you place him 7th, below Boba Fett! A nothing character when you actually look past all the fanboy shite.
You didn't get it thirteen years ago, and you still don't get it now. More
| Posted by My name is Legion on Friday November 2, 2012, 02:46 |
| | 12 | Excellent List | I agree with this list almost 100%, although I wouldn't have included some of the lame, one-dimensional prequel pseudo-characters like Mace Windu. (Actually, with the exception of Darth Maul, I probably would've left the prequels out entirely. Those movies, after all, don't feature characters so much as merchandising opportunities.) In Windu's place I would've added Grand Moff Tarkin, somewhere higher on the list. More
| Posted by intelandroid on Thursday November 1, 2012, 23:45 |
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