Register  |   Log In  |  
Sign up to our weekly newsletter    
Search   
Empire Magazine and iPad
Follow Me on Pinterest
Empire
Trending On Empire
Two free posters with Empire magazine
Subscribe: Get Dead Island: Riptide
Empire's Soundtrack Celebration
90 Years Of Warner Bros.
Your chance to win a Blu-ray every day!
Cannes Film Festival 2013
News, photos and more from the Croisette
Empire Blogs
Off The Wire

Back to all blogs Comment Now

The 2012 Olympics Opening Ceremony: What Can We Expect?

Posted on Thursday June 17, 2010, 16:45 by Helen O'Hara in Off The Wire
The 2012 Olympics Opening Ceremony: What Can We Expect?

It was announced today that Stephen Daldry (The Hours, Billy Elliott, The Reader) and Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, 28 Days Later, Slumdog Millionaire) will be in charge of the Opening Ceremony for the London Olympics in 2012. Obviously it's nice to hear that two of Blighty's finest will be overseeing the shindig, and will be in charge of making it both spectacular in execution and awesome in conception. But what can we expect to see from their Olympics adventure? We input all the data into Empire's steam-powered computing machine and odds extractor, and here's what came up as possible inclusions:

1. We open with two security guards chasing Paula Radcliffe, dressed as Virginia Woolf, around the stadium.

2. Then a one-armed mountaineer climbs up to light the Olympic flame while Ewan McGregor and Cameron Diaz sing Beyond the Sea. The flame is large enough and bright enough to outshine the Sun.

3. Sprinters with totally blood-red eyes chase cameramen down the 100-m track. There's a momentary pause after one unfortunate is caught and disembowelled.

4. Ed Harris topples slowly backwards off the high jump post while on the running track, the female stars of Stephen Daldry films compete in the women's relay, using their Oscars as a baton.

5. The synchronised swimming team enacts an unusual routine which seems them squeezing into the pool (specially set up in the middle of the stadium) through ten foul-looking toilets.

6. One lucky kid in the audience finds a suitcase full of money under their seat.

7. 12 year-old male ballet dancers complete a joyous Bollywood dance routine, with full chorus of miners, police, slumdogs, literary icons, illiterate Nazis, astronauts and suicides.

8. Bury FC carry the flag for Team GB.

9. Boris Johnson looks a bit awkward.

But seriously, it's good news, isn't it? And what do you expect from the ceremony?

Login or register to comment.

Comments

1 Lemure
Posted on Friday June 18, 2010, 19:29
Yeah, I just want to see lots of enraged folk running about spitting blood all over the place. We'll show the world how to open an olympics!

2 Yorkshirebint
Posted on Friday June 18, 2010, 21:14
I expect it to be rousing and immaculately soundtracked (is that even a word??). One thing Danny knows is how to pull together a spine tingling soundtrack.

Log in below, or register to post comments
Username:
Password:
Remember Me:

CATEGORIES

Empire States (412)

Under The Radar (289)

Infinite Lives (75)

Small Screen (53)

Cannes 2011 (28)

Off The Wire (23)

Comic-Con 2010 (21)

Words From The Wise (11)

Casting Couch (2)

Oscars 2011 (1)


RECENT POSTS

i, Robot Goes 3D On Blu-Ray
By James White

DreamWorks Touts New 'Toon Footage
By James White

Golden Globes 2012
By James White

James Cameron Talks Titanic 3D
By James White

Rango: A Walk-Through With Gore Verbinski
By Sam Toy

The 2012 Olympics Opening Ceremony: What Can We Expect?
By Helen O'Hara

The Sorcerer's Apprentice Edit Bay Visit
By James White

Shutter Island: A Thriller Out Of Time?
By Damon Wise

What Chris Nolan Could Bring To Superman
By James White

David Brown 1916-2010: A Tribute
By Ian Freer


RECENT COMMENTS

i, Robot Goes 3D On Blu-Ray
"I received this yesterday with high expectations Now I am an advocate for 3D and a massive "  BigNickUK
Read comment

Golden Globes 2012
"Someone at E! needs to get fired! Their coverage was shocking! Thanks god for Empire showing me the "  guysalisbury
Read comment

Golden Globes 2012
""Harvey Weinstein’s nickname apparently being The Punisher. Write your own Thomas Jane jo"  loafroaster
Read comment

Golden Globes 2012
"Have to agree with the previous comments about the coverage by E! Truly inept. Other than that, high"  wgfuzzydunlop1
Read comment

Golden Globes 2012
"Sadly boredbluekoala is spot on with the description of E!'s shockingly incompetent handling of the "  spacemonkey95
Read comment

Golden Globes 2012
"Great, so let's get the Oscars back on the BBC then."  Cameron1975Williams
Read comment

Golden Globes 2012
"I don't know which broadcast everyone else was watching, but the one shown by 'E' in the UK was shoc"  boredbluekoala
Read comment

Golden Globes 2012
"Either Gervais was told to tone it down this year or he just couldn't come up with anything funny (m"  BenTramer
Read comment

James Cameron Talks Titanic 3D
"As a younger generation movie lover, i am thrilled by the fact that Titanic is coming back to the bi"  AusteV
Read comment

James Cameron Talks Titanic 3D
"It is pleasure a going through your post. I have bookmarked you to check out new stuff from your sid"  amydevid
Read comment


POPULAR POSTS

You Wouldn't Steal A Car...
140 comments

The Thing About Retconning
101 comments

Bond Bombshell
70 comments

50 Reasons Christopher Lee Arose A Knight
38 comments

Spider-Man 4: The Villain Conundrum
35 comments

Should Spider-Man Have Gone 3D?
27 comments

Spielberg's Harvey: Why It's A Good Idea
26 comments

What Chris Nolan Could Bring To Superman
21 comments

The Oscar Back-And-Forth
18 comments

Warning: Avatar Can Be Extremely Bad For Your Health
18 comments


BLOGGERS
Damon Wise (273)
Helen O'Hara (156)
James Dyer (85)
Chris Hewitt (83)
Amar Vijay (71)
Ali Plumb (50)
David Scarborough (38)
Sam Toy (34)
Sam Toy (31)
Stephen Carty (31)
James White (27)
Simon Braund (24)
Olly Richards (23)
Ian Freer (21)
Nick de Semlyen (20)
Phil de Semlyen (18)
Nev Pierce (10)
Glen Ferris (8)
Dan Jolin (8)
Nick de Semlyen (8)
Owen Williams (8)
Peter Lord (6)
Emily Phillips (6)
Kat Brown (3)
Dan Goodswen (3)
Kim Newman (3)
Jodie McEwan (3)
Empire Empire (2)
Sebastian Williamson (2)
Eve Barlow (2)
Emma Cochrane (2)
Edmund Ward (1)
Chris Smith (1)
Alice Wybrew (1)
Jonny Pile (1)
Steve Charnock (1)
Empire Workie (1)
Colin Kennedy (1)
Tom Ambrose (1)
Lucy Quick (1)
Benjamin Lee (1)
David Parkinson (1)
Dallas King (1)
Ross Bennett (1)
John Hitchcox (1)
Siam Goorwich (1)
Sanam Jehanfard (1)
Anton Bitel (1)


CURRENT HIGHLIGHTS
The Hangover Part III Cast & Crew Interviews
Cooper, Galifianakis, Helms, Jeong, Bartha, Graham and Phillips!

Edgar Wright's Essential Movie Music Playlist
Listen to the seventeen tunes and cues of the World’s End director’s life

Cannes Film Festival Videblogisode #4
With Alec Baldwin and James Toback plus longstanding videblog-guest Stephen Woolley

Empire's Great Gatsby Video Interviews
Leonardo DiCaprio! Carey Mulligan! Tobey Maguire! Joel Edgerton! Baz Luhrmann!

The Biggest Doctor Who Jaw-Droppers
The Time Lord's biggest surprises over 50 years of TV

Quicksilver & Scarlet Witch: A Beginner's Guide To The Avengers 2 Newcomers
Your primer on the brother and sister joining the A-team

Clint Mansell On Making Requiem For A Dream
'Darren had to edit at night because he could get access to the studio for free then.'

Subscribe For Only £20
Get Dead Island: Riptide and six issues of Empire for only £20! Subscribe now
Steven Spielberg iPad App
Hollywood's most beloved director in this unique iPad special. Download now
Empire iPad Edition
The world's biggest movie magazine available on iPad Download now
Home  |  News  |  Blogs  |  Reviews  |  Future Films  |  Features  |  Interviews  |  Images  |  Competitions  |  Forum  |  iPad  |  Podcast  |  Magazine Contact Us  |  Empire FAQ  |  Subscribe To Empire  |  Register
© Bauer Consumer Media  |  Terms And Conditions  |  Our Data Promise To You  |  Bauer Entertainment Network
Bauer Consumer Media. Company number 1176085 (England). Registered Office: 21 Holborn Viaduct, London EC1A 2DY