Register  |   Log In  |  
Sign up to our weekly newsletter    
Search   
Empire Magazine and iPad
Follow Me on Pinterest YouTube Tumblr Viber
Empire
Trending On Empire
The Big 2015 Movie Preview
The 50 Best Films Of 2014
Review Of The Year 2014
100 Greatest Characters
Your all-time favourite heroes and villains
Subscribe To Empire
Sign up now and save 44%
Empire Blogs
Off The Wire

Back to all blogs Comment Now

The 2012 Olympics Opening Ceremony: What Can We Expect?

Posted on Thursday June 17, 2010, 16:45 by Helen O'Hara in Off The Wire
The 2012 Olympics Opening Ceremony: What Can We Expect?

It was announced today that Stephen Daldry (The Hours, Billy Elliott, The Reader) and Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, 28 Days Later, Slumdog Millionaire) will be in charge of the Opening Ceremony for the London Olympics in 2012. Obviously it's nice to hear that two of Blighty's finest will be overseeing the shindig, and will be in charge of making it both spectacular in execution and awesome in conception. But what can we expect to see from their Olympics adventure? We input all the data into Empire's steam-powered computing machine and odds extractor, and here's what came up as possible inclusions:

1. We open with two security guards chasing Paula Radcliffe, dressed as Virginia Woolf, around the stadium.

2. Then a one-armed mountaineer climbs up to light the Olympic flame while Ewan McGregor and Cameron Diaz sing Beyond the Sea. The flame is large enough and bright enough to outshine the Sun.

3. Sprinters with totally blood-red eyes chase cameramen down the 100-m track. There's a momentary pause after one unfortunate is caught and disembowelled.

4. Ed Harris topples slowly backwards off the high jump post while on the running track, the female stars of Stephen Daldry films compete in the women's relay, using their Oscars as a baton.

5. The synchronised swimming team enacts an unusual routine which seems them squeezing into the pool (specially set up in the middle of the stadium) through ten foul-looking toilets.

6. One lucky kid in the audience finds a suitcase full of money under their seat.

7. 12 year-old male ballet dancers complete a joyous Bollywood dance routine, with full chorus of miners, police, slumdogs, literary icons, illiterate Nazis, astronauts and suicides.

8. Bury FC carry the flag for Team GB.

9. Boris Johnson looks a bit awkward.

But seriously, it's good news, isn't it? And what do you expect from the ceremony?

Login or register to comment.

Comments

1 Lemure
Posted on Friday June 18, 2010, 19:29
Yeah, I just want to see lots of enraged folk running about spitting blood all over the place. We'll show the world how to open an olympics!

2 Yorkshirebint
Posted on Friday June 18, 2010, 21:14
I expect it to be rousing and immaculately soundtracked (is that even a word??). One thing Danny knows is how to pull together a spine tingling soundtrack.

Log in below, or register to post comments
Username:
Password:
Remember Me:

CATEGORIES

Empire States (444)

Under The Radar (335)

Infinite Lives (92)

Small Screen (57)

Words From The Wise (36)

Cannes 2011 (28)

Off The Wire (24)

Comic-Con 2010 (21)

Casting Couch (2)

Oscars 2011 (1)


RECENT POSTS

Lego The Lord of the Rings: The Video Game Preview
By Ali Plumb

The Return Of Max Payne
By Ali Plumb

Empire's Modern Warfare 3 Multiplayer Survival Guide
By Ali Plumb

In Search Of The Ultimate Xbox Controller
By James Dyer

Hands on with El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron
By Ali Plumb

Japanese gaming hero Suda 51 on his latest, Shadows Of The Damned
By Ali Plumb

Hands On: Razer Onza
By James Dyer

Empire Sits Down With The Portal 2 Writers, Gets Worryingly Excited
By Ali Plumb

Movie Karaoke, Anyone? Yoostar 2 Can Turn You Into Arnold Schwarzenegger... Kind Of
By Ali Plumb

Have You Seen The Awe-Inspiring Dead Island Trailer Yet?
By Ali Plumb


RECENT COMMENTS

Empire at E3: Natal Is Dead, Long Live Kinect
"hello friends you can get free minecraft codes generator through this site minecraft free "  prem0516
Read comment

Would it Work: A Legend of Zelda Movie?
"It would be hard to make the movie to what fans, such as myself, would expect, which means expectati"  Alixis93
Read comment

E3 2013: David Cage On Beyond: Two Souls
"Very excited about this game. played their previous PS3 game "Heavy Rain" which was unique"  Okester
Read comment

E3 2013: Electronic Arts
""As the event began properly, a bombastic war-themed trailer proved to be a genius parody of th"  Film2012
Read comment

Lego The Lord of the Rings: The Video Game Preview
"I am ridiculously excited by the hope that I may have this game wrapped and with my name on it under"  MD3
Read comment

Would it Work: A Legend of Zelda Movie?
"hay look at this these guys are making a Legend of Zelda movie!!! https://www.fac"  link2point0
Read comment

Would it Work: A Legend of Zelda Movie?
"My god, I've been planning this of so long. YES it will work. And I plan to get my ideas where they "  Thinking_fanatic
Read comment

Would it Work: A Legend of Zelda Movie?
"im 50/50 on it because it has a good storyline but it depends on the game its going to copy or if th"  No_1ups
Read comment

The Return Of Max Payne
"I absolutely love the first two Max Payne games (and recently downloaded the first one - for free - "  Draven Cage
Read comment

Would it Work: A Legend of Zelda Movie?
"Maybe write a book first of a really good screen play and see how that goes."  welshcelt
Read comment


POPULAR POSTS

Have You Seen The Awe-Inspiring Dead Island Trailer Yet?
21 comments

The New Xbox: Slim, Sleek And Silent
7 comments

Red Dead Redemption Goes To The Movies
7 comments

Empire at E3: The Return of Goldeneye
3 comments

Empire at E3: The Nintendo Round-up
2 comments

Empire Sits Down With The Portal 2 Writers, Gets Worryingly Excited
2 comments

In Search Of The Ultimate Xbox Controller
1 comments

Empire's Modern Warfare 3 Multiplayer Survival Guide
1 comments

The Return Of Max Payne
1 comments

Lego The Lord of the Rings: The Video Game Preview
1 comments


BLOGGERS
Damon Wise (299)
Helen O'Hara (181)
James Dyer (86)
Amar Vijay (71)
Ali Plumb (56)
James White (29)
Phil de Semlyen (21)
Owen Williams (21)
Simon Braund (6)
Nev Pierce (5)
Ally Wybrew (2)
Ben Kirby (1)
David Parkinson (1)
Will Lawrence (1)
Dan Jolin (1)
Ian Nathan (1)


CURRENT HIGHLIGHTS
Black Mass Trailer Breakdown With Director Scott Cooper
Find out what's what with Johnny Depp's take on Boston Gangster Whitey Bulger

The N.W.A-Team
Empire visits the set of Straight Outta Compton

Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation
Read Empire's official verdict

Empire Meets Joely Richardson
On Maggie, Arnie and Event Horizon

100 Greatest Movie Characters
The complete list of your all-time favourite heroes and villains

Vote Now For Your Favourite TV Shows
Pick your top five - if you can...

Paul Rudd Is Awesome
Being awesome: from Clueless to Ant-Man

Subscribe to Empire magazine
Empire print magazine

Delivered to your door – with exclusive subscriber only covers each month!

Subscribe now!

Subscribe to Empire iPad edition
Empire digital magazine

Exclusive and enhanced content – get instant access via your iPad or Android device

Subscribe now!

Subscribe now and save up to 67%
Print, Digital & Package options available Subscribe today!
Empire's Film Studies 101 Series
Everything you ever wanted to know about filmmaking but were afraid to ask...
The Empire Digital Edition
With exclusive extras, interactive features, trailers and much more! Download now
Home  |  News  |  Blogs  |  Reviews  |  Future Films  |  Features  |  Interviews  |  Images  |  Competitions  |  Forum  |  Digital Edition  |  Podcast  |  Magazine Contact Us  |  Empire FAQ  |  Subscribe To Empire  |  Register
© Bauer Consumer Media Ltd  |  Legal Info  |  Editorial Complaints  |  Privacy Policy  |  Bauer Entertainment Network
Bauer Consumer Media Ltd (company number 01176085 and registered address 1 Lincoln Court, Lincoln Road, Peterborough, England PE1 2RF)