Top 5 Things I Wish I’d Seen At The Oscars
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 05:30 by Sam Toy in Empire States
Just as what you order on a pizza over the phone will never be what arrives at your door, just as you’ll never remember every item of a big grocery shop without writing a list, so too, no matter how much they prepare the Oscars, how much they fine tune it year on year, it seems they’ll never produce the perfect coverage. Now as they made a good fist of it this year, it seems almost mean to be asking for more, but there’s always room for improvement. I watched keenly, admired the classy bits and suffered through the red carpet coverage, and I’ve come up with a few suggestions for things I would like to have seen this year – nothing radical, just some measured, reasonable, sensible notes for the Academy to observe and consider:
1. Despite my fears that Hugh Jackman’s hosting would be a schmaltzy - even cheesy, backslapping affair, we got a tremendous opening salvo. But it still, I pine for the day that we will have an Academy Awards ceremony hosted by the only true voice of authority that the whole world recognises; his dulcet tones, his impeccable suits and mustache, and for those musical numbers, his skills on jazz flute. Yes, I dream that one day the Oscars will be hosted by Ron Burgundy (and possibly a dance number with the whole Channel 4 news team).
2. Robert Downey Jr come ‘in character’ as Kirk Lazarus, and declare that he’s a dude playin’ a dude, playin’ a dude, disguised as another dude’. In a similar vein, I found myself praying for Michael Shannon to be as free twixt thoughts and mouth as his character in Revolutionary Road whilst being interviewed by Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet.
Now, as a side note, I’ll say I’d normally I’d be a bit more forgiving of the red carpet people generally – God knows, it’s hard standing out on a live red carpet even just for twenty minutes, having to know all about every person who turns up, and be able to fill in the spots where no-one is within talking distance, but a) Ryan Seacrest (whose coverage I was watching) does virtually nothing else, and b) he’s got a voice in his left ear feeding him questions/telling him what to needle out of his subjects, so he’s really got no excuse for being that vacuous. Plus of course, c) he gets paid an astronomical amount of money for doing it.
3. A quick precursor: 1) David Fincher I love all of your work, and I don’t necessarily want to take anything away from Benjamin Button, but as this is my list and I can do whatever I want, I wish that Zodiac (which was beautiful, outstanding, and utterly robbed) could go through some strange, nonsensical Hollywood time paradox and have won all the awards Benjamin Button actually took home.
4. More of Steve Martin and Tina Fey. Both are awesome - is Fey next year’s host(ess)?
5. Real Wall-E on the red carpet, and then for him come home to my house*.
So, sleep deprived as I am as I write this, that’s the best gibberish I can come up with. Doubtless I’ll be kicking myself later this afternoon, when I think of something better on charged batteries, but in the meantime, what did I miss? How would you tweak the biggest night on the movie awards calendar?
*This part of the blog may have been hijacked by Helen
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Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 08:02
The Dark Knight... nuff said
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 08:08
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 08:35
The Dark Knight can go to the interior darkness of Surrey and stay there, being dark, for aslong as it likes for all I care. The Wrestler was snubbed, Aranofsky was snubbed, Mickey Rourke was snubbed. Not that the film or the director need validation from the Academy - Aranofsky still has plently of potential to deliver a greater film - but Mickey Rourke should have the recognition he deserves as an actor. It's a success story without the icing on the cake. Penn was incredible as Milk, that should not be understated, but he couldn't help but slip into a character he has played (and been nominated for) so many times.
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 09:22
You're sleep deprived?
I'm still up, damn you for sending my new issue as I began sleep preparation, mean ol' Empire.
Still, overall, what woulda made it better, Jack Nicholson, he was non-existent this year :(
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 09:40
I agree with exandakane, The Wrestler should have received more recognition. If only for Mickey Rourke's performance, which I consider to be the best out of all the nominees.
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 10:16
1- The Dark Knight winning loads of stuff
2- Mickey Rourke being given the statue he deserves
3- Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan) hosting the awards with Jack Donaghey and Liz Lemon also thrown in
4- A more popular non snobbish vote
5- A huge riot erupting because of the travesty that is the oscars. Such a bad riot that they decide to never run the oscars again
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 10:29
Did anyone else see Malcom Macdowell at the awards?
I'm sure I saw him at one point...
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 10:48
I'd quite like it for the Oscars to be broadcast on the BBC again. They're literally the only reason I would ever buy Sky, and therefore, sadly, not enough of a reason.
At the very least the Academy could put some sort of pay-per-view thing on the internet!
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 11:56
3- Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan) hosting the awards with Jack Donaghey and Liz Lemon also thrown in
Heh, that would have been good. I can just picture Jack making some kind of sarcastic comment about a movie's snubbing.
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 12:36
Anyone think the sky movies coverage was moronic. What the was the point in having a Stephanie Beecham sit there looking sour and being snobby . At least they didn't have a lot of time to spoil it for us.
I'd have liked to see the Wrestler in the best picture category. I'm happy enough with Sean Penn winning milk , he deserves it for that performance. The wrestler did deserve something though..
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 14:32
- 5 Things I Wish I’d Seen At The Oscars:
1.-Mickey Rourke receiving his most deserved Best Actor Oscar.
2.-Benjamin Button and Slumdog Millionaire as 1st and 2nd winner and not the opposite. Slumdog could have done with Best Score, Song and Film Editing (very well deserved), and I adore Danny Boyle, but I think this should have been Fincher's year (actually, I think it should have been last year for the masterpiece "Zodiac" but the moronic Oscar Academy didn't even mention it).
3.-The Dark Knight and WALL·E having the recognition they deserved, not just one minor Oscar each (both should have been nominated for Best Film).
4.-Anyone but that dull phoney Spanish slut Penélope Cruz (I'm Spanish, so this is no prejudice, it's pure shame) receiving the Best Actress in a Supporting Role Oscar, she got it for playing an unsufferable character (the most annoying female stereotype of Spanish culture) in a so-so film, and her speech was fake and without emotion at all.
5.-Classic Oscar presentations, not those ridiculous introductions of the nominees by winners of previous years: we don't wanna hear a good actress telling another good actress how good she is, it's self-indulgent, it's silly, it's unnecessary, it made the ceremony much longer than it should have been.
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 15:05
I'm not sure The Wrestler deserved the nomination for best film. But Ben Button was way too long...
I thought it was quite good though, how Penn received it over Rourke. He's done too much wrong in his private life to get one.
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 15:10
Your withholding Rourke an Oscar because of his private life? That's hilarious.
You want to take Woody Allen's Oscar's away just because he goes out with 13year old girls? What about Roman Polanski?
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 15:46
In reply to britesparc, I agree copmpletely, screw you Sky Tv.
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 17:13
1. Kate Winslet falling over on her way up to collect her undeserved Oscar for 'The Reader', 2009's worst film so far.
2. Philip Seymour Hoffman winning Best Supporting Male Actor for 'Doubt' which he clearly should of won.
3.'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' being nominated and winning Best Picture.
4. 'Watlz With Bashir' winning Best Foriegn Language Film.
5. Agreeing with Empire, more Tiny Fey!
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 17:39
What about Winona Ryder's amazing Ping-Pong trick?
Or an award for most smug, annoying actor/actress?
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 19:38
The Razzies are far superior.
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 20:28
elliot 38.. I think you mean 'your not sure the wrestler would have deserved an oscar nomination for best picture' after all it didn't get one.
I think it did. At least IMHO the Reader is not as good a movie, In fact I might even go so far as to say that Button is not as good a movie ( after all is it not very similar to Forrest Gump/Big Fish) and only the SFX are truly noteworthy in it?
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 21:09
Oscars for Who Dat Ninja?, Honky Grandma be Trippin' and A Blaffair to Rememblack.
Posted on Monday February 23, 2009, 23:56
My 5 are...
5) Wall-E needed to be recognised more... ALOT more. Possibly the best film of the year and with twice the power and depth of The Reader!
4) Oscars need to be broadcast on a more accesible channel!! Like BBC or something. If we have to sit through dross like sports personality of the year, atleast allow us a night of film fuelled wonder!
3) More interesting and naturally entertaining actors to be a big part of the award giving! Brad Pitt, Big Jack, Downy Jr! Not the tweens from HSM 3!
2) For the love of god, look at a more diverse range of films Academy! By that i mean big budget blockbusters, as many people on this page have said - TDK should of been recognised alot more, not just Ledger's performance, which while exceptional wasn't the only standout thing about it. It was as powerful a crime drama as The Wrestler was a powerful life teaching drama.
1) But most of all we need some better people to present it. Not saying hugh jackman wasn't good - loved the opening. But nothing has topped Ellen Degerous a couple of years back. Get in the big funny people to do it! The opening this year showed mmost of all that Anne Hathaway would make for an entertaining presenter. But there are many others!. My top vote goes to Will Smith though. Entertaining is what he was born to do, and what better place to do it than infront of the world at Hollywoods most prestigious night!!
Posted on Tuesday February 24, 2009, 00:49
1. Jack Nicholson. Where was he?
2. Better montages. It's utterly depressing to think that The Love Guru could even show its face at the Oscars.
Revolution by Night
Posted on Tuesday February 24, 2009, 06:57
Alright, I'm not gonna give a top 5 'cause most of what I'd say's been pretty much covered already (more recognition for WALL•E & The Dark Knight, more Tina Fey & Steve Martin, et al). Now bear in mind before reading on that I think Sean Penn is a great actor, his turn as Spicoli laid the groundwork for Brad Pitt's Floyd and James Franco's Sol (any sarcasm read into that is purely unintentional...) and he can deliver a powerful performance w/the best of them too. But I will just say that twice now Sean Penn has robbed folks w/more deserving performances than his... First he took Bill Murray's Oscar for Lost in Translation (Kevin Bacon's less OTT turn in Mystic River would even have been a better shout), and now he robs Mickey Rourke of his! Well just thought I'd throw that out there...
Posted on Tuesday February 24, 2009, 08:20
1) Better red carpet coverage. Less talk about dresses and more about films.
2) Mickey Rourke to get his Oscar. Don't care about his private life, cosmetic surgery etc. His performance in The Wrestler was the best of last year, nuff said! (And I always get the impression that Sean Penn is much more comfortable and at home behind the camera and I think he is a much better director than actor)
3) More Robert Downey Jr. If he is himself, or a dude playing himself playing some other dude, I don't care. Just more of him, please? And, if Jack is going to be absent in the future, RDJ can take his seat :o)
4) Back to basic presenting, and preferably, bring Billy Crystal back. Best. Host. Ever.
5) More humor!!! The Academy take themselves way too seriously.
And I also have to agree with ClaraDarko, Penelope Cruz should not have received that statue....
Posted on Tuesday February 24, 2009, 15:51
I thought the Oscars were spot on this year. I just wish that MR had won best actor!
And I agree with Orchid, could have had a few more laughs.
Posted on Tuesday February 24, 2009, 17:06
Sean Penn ACTED. Mickey Rourke love 'im, just played himself playing his life story. The Oscars are for acting.
Posted on Tuesday February 24, 2009, 22:41
Tina Fey as host would be great! She was one of the highlights for me (the other being DeNiro introducing Penn's role)
Posted on Wednesday February 25, 2009, 09:57
Mr Grizzly - Haa Haa Haa! "I didn't miss one!"
Smug actor/actress has to go to Brangellina - SOoo sick of them.
It's an interesting debate. On one hand the Oscars are the most prestigious award and I wouldn't want them awarding Best Picture to something just coz it took the most money, and besides there are plenty of awards that are populist ie MTV awards, Empire awards etc. But...you can't deny Academy gets it wrong so often - so what to do?? Ideas?
Posted on Wednesday February 25, 2009, 12:46
1) An award for 'Least Meddlesome Studio'.
2) An award for 'Honest Career Understanding'. For those that, bless 'em, know they're not the greatest but sign on for the same roles year in year out. Primarily so Brendan Fraser/Nathan Fillion/Jason Statham could be 'Oscar Nominees'. What a world that would be.
3) A 'Man of The Match' style one to be presented at the end of the ceremony. Tradionally this should go to the most hammered or profane on live TV.
4) Much less footage of normally good looking actresses, standing around pointlessly parrying cheekbones with ridiculously shiny faces. Zellweger always looks like she's been laminated.
5) People to host in character. The 'power trio' of Jack Sparrow, Withnail and Tony Stark.
Posted on Wednesday February 25, 2009, 13:53
My top way to improve it this year was to have actually Sky+'d the show itself, and not just Fearne Cotton on the Red Carpet. I'm an idiot.
I did however watch the highlights, and was EXTREMELY entertained by the too-brief montage of the ones Will Smith gave out - literally it was "and the Oscar goes to"... "and the Oscar goes to". Will Smith presents every award in 3 minutes. Brilliant...
Also Rourke, Dark Knight, and more Tina Fey
Posted on Wednesday February 25, 2009, 18:11
Will Smith for host. Nuff said.
Posted on Friday February 27, 2009, 14:27
glad im not the only person who was thinking what an imbacile stephanie beecham was being!! i watched with friends and we were anticipating her making a 'sap' comment about Ledgers win as aparently she must not like the Oscars according to every comment she made (so why have her there?? isnt she in Corrie now??) but didnt think sky would actually have the balls to allow her to say it and not be interupted by Claudia " i dont know anything about film" Winkleman. shocking coverage by sky, i dont think i really cared about what any of those people were saying...about anything, even if i agreed with them i was still like "what the!??"
Posted on Friday February 27, 2009, 15:39
you got me with ron burgundy, what a stroke of genius!
Posted on Friday February 27, 2009, 23:34
Ooh Pirate King, I feel your pain! I also think Rourke should have won the oscar. Gave up watching the show live after the whole Scorcese debacle of a couple of years back. Just plain wrong. Perfect host is and always was Billy Crystal!
Posted on Monday March 2, 2009, 15:58
Jack Black In A Kung Fu Panda Costume.. Kicking ASS !
Posted on Sunday March 8, 2009, 00:42
I love Mickey Rourke. I think he may just be my hero. I saw The Wrestler and I have to agree his performance was powerhouse to the extreme (it did, in my humble opinion, carry a mediocre film from a talentless director with much hype). It seems that there is a lot of band-wagon-jumping however. Did people actually see all of the nominees performances? I actually saw Milk the very same day that I saw The Wrestler and Sean Penn's performance was so stunning. So stunning. I came straight home, went onto my online betting account and layed 20 pound on him to win the gong (At a lovely return of £65.24). So I can't seem to bring myself to agree that Rourke was robbed. On that note, Milk was also a class film, really enjoyable, and so i would have liked that to have won more awards, most probably for costume design which I thought was awesome.
Personally I have to agree that The Dark Knight was snubbed a touch and would have loved for it to win greater recognition. Wasn't a fan of Wall-E so not to fussed about that. I also agree that I would have liked Waltz With Bashir to win best foreign language film.
Love the concept of a 'Silver Oscar' for the runners up.
P.S Calling Penelope Cruz a 'slut' is just outrageous. She's amazing. Also Vicky Cristina Barcelona is a cool film and her role in it was pretty amazing. I definitely wouldn't be kicking her out of bed for a wet fart...