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The Best Movie Swearing

Posted on Thursday January 8, 2009, 10:10 by Ian Freer in Empire States

Swearing. From as soon as you can say the word “bum”, you hear these immortal seven words: It’s not big and it’s not clever. Maybe not, but movie swearing is undeniably entertaining and in the hands of a Mamet/Tarantino/Lee can be both big and clever. There is little to beat a well-chosen expletive to make a dramatic point or underline a character’s emotion or - if it is children, old ladies or Hugh Grant doing the swearing - get a laugh. If you want proof check out these watered down versions of classic curse-filled lines and just feel the difference.

The opening narration of Apocalypse Now as Captain Willard considers his fate: “Saigon….blast….I’m still only in Saigon.”

The beginning of Four Weddings And A Funeral when a frantic Charles realises he’s over slept before wedding no. 1: “Flip… Flip …. Flip …I’m late… Flip … Flip….Flip … Flip”

Or what about the famous motivational speech by Blake to the beleagured real estate salesman of Glengarry Glen Ross:
Davc Moss: What’s your name?
Blake: Darn you, that’s my name!

Doesn’t quite work, does it? And, conversely, wouldn’t Gone With The Wind been soooooo much better if, stepping outside that door, Rhett Butler turned to Scarlett O’Hara and said, “Frankly my dear, you’re a caaaant!” Clark Gable channelling Ray Winstone. Now that’s cinema.

According to unofficial sources, the top 3 films with the highest f-word count are 3) Casino (398), 2) Nil By Mouth (428) and 1) US documentary Fuck (824 in 93 minutes). But forget quantity: for my money, the best example, the blue ribbon, the Going For Gold Gold Run of movie swearing belongs to Martin Scorsese’s Raging Bull. Late on in the film, after the La Motta brothers have long been estranged, Jake (De Niro) phones his brother Joey (Pesci), now visibly older than when we last saw him. La Motta is too emotionally crippled to talk so Joey launches into a non-stop tirade of abuse that includes the following pearl of wisdom…

“I can hear you breathing you fuck. You listening, your mother sucks fucking big fucking elephant dicks, you got that?”

Let’s just hear that one more time….
“Your mother sucks fucking big fucking elephant dicks, you got that?”

The genius of this line is manifold: the repetition of the second “fucking” so quickly after the first gives the dialogue the feel of freeform poetry, especially given Pesci’s rat-a-tat delivery, the inclusion of the word “elephant” spins the statement into a whole new level of disgusting surrealism. And, of course, that Joey is oblivious to the fact that the mother he is trashing is his own mother adds a delicious level of irony to the insult.

So that’s my favorite moment of movie swearing; creative, completely over the top, totally defining character, grimly humorous.

What the fuck is your favourite, you fucks?