The Stath Who Would Be King

The Stath Who Would Be King

Posted on Wednesday October 8, 2008, 15:08 by Glen Ferris in Empire States

There was a time, not so long ago, when heroes walked the Earth. Fighting for truth, justice and the right to bear pumped-up arms, they were a race of godlike beings whose preferred brand of quip-quip-bang-bang lawgiving marked them out as heroes of cinema. But the likes of Schwarzenegger, Stallone and Willis (hell, even Van Damme and Seagal) are all gone, consigned to straight-to-DVD hell or branching out into elder statesmen roles or governmental positions. Still, we weren't worried. There were many possible replacements to fill their bulging wifebeaters, so we'd be fine. Except that somewhere along the way all those up-and-coming action stars fell by the wayside, until only one muscleman remains – and he's British?

That’s right; the ultimate action star of our times is Jason Statham, a bald Cockney who made his name playing diamond geezers and cheeky rogues. That’s not to say The Stath has had a smooth ride but, for one reason or another, his contemporaries have fallen on their own swords.

A few years ago, the next generation of action stars seemed to be set in stone, but odd career choices have paved the way for the London dynamo’s ascent to ass-kicking royalty. Vin Diesel, for example, had extreme action-loving, petrol-headed film freaks in the palm of his hands with The Fast and the Furious and xXx, but then he threw it all away to make Disney’s The Pacifier.

Then there’s The Rock. In Welcome To The Jungle, Arnold Schwarzenegger (in one of his last screen roles) symbolically handed over his crown with a casual admonition to "Have fun", and for a time the former WWE superstar looked as though he’d wear it with pride. But then he reverted back to Dwayne Johnson, signed up to a bunch of kiddie flicks and high-concept oddities (Southland Tales, we're looking at you) and pissed away all that goodwill.

Other pretenders - including the likes of Gerard Butler (too many rom-coms), Stephen Chow (too comedic), Jet Li (too many arty wushu flicks), Jackie Chan (once great, now a little sad) and Matt Damon (predominantly a serious actor with a successful action sideline) – have come close, but for balls-out, brainless, brilliant butt-bashing in cinema right now, no one comes close to challenging The Stath.

Simply put, he’s the only star working today who trades solely and successfully in multiplex-pleasing action fare without getting ideas above his station. Let’s review the facts: From 2001’s Ghosts Of Mars until this year’s Death Race, he has appeared in 17 movies. 12 of those are unequivocally action fare, two cameos find him either handing over a gun or getting killed by one (Collateral and The Pink Panther respectively), two dramas (Revolver and London) still have him cracking a few skulls and one (The Bank Job) sees him playing a robber who gives the human brick shithouse that is Craig Fairbrass a thorough kicking.

The truth is unavoidable. No matter what he does, Jason Statham is hard as nails and no one else comes close to equalling him. We’re sure he’d be up to the challenge if someone tried though.