Empire States: What Did Miramax Ever Do For Us?
Posted on Friday January 29, 2010, 11:54 by Chris Hewitt in Empire States
The scene: The Empire offices, Friday. Chris Hewitt is leading a news meeting (yes, we have news meetings).
Chris: So, Miramax has been closed down by Disney.
Helen O’Hara: We should do something on that. A celebration or something.
Chris: A celebration? Of Miramax? Are you mad? What have they ever given us?
Pause.
Ali Plumb: [meekly] Quentin Tarantino?
Chris: What?
Ali: Quentin Tarantino?
Chris: Oh yeah, Quentin Tarantino. After all, Harvey and Bob Weinstein were the guys who took a chance on him with Reservoir Dogs, and then partnered with him throughout his illustrious career. You could make a case that Miramax is the House That Quentin Built, so yeah, they did give us that.
Phil de Semlyen: And they introduced world cinema to a wider audience.
Helen: Oh yeah, world cinema, Chris. Rememb... Continue reading... Comment Now (5 comments)
Back To TopOff The Wire: He’s Back, He’s Bad, He’s Black, He’s Mad
Posted on Thursday January 28, 2010, 12:13 by Chris Hewitt in Off The Wire
 For my money, Shane Black may just be the best commercial screenwriter in Hollywood. From the first two Lethal Weapons through to The Monster Squad to The Long Kiss Goodnight, The Last Boy Scout and his wonderful directorial debut, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, nobody else in Hollywood – not even Tarantino – boasts Black's knack for tweaking genre tropes with an ear for tough-guy dialogue worthy of Chandler, Ellroy, Leonard.
So, naturally, I’m delighted by the news that he’s set to reteam with Mel Gibson on the spy thriller, Cold Warrior. And so should you. In case you need some persuasion, here are ten lines of dialogue that will make you glad that Black is back…
1. “Touch me again, and I’ll kill ya.”
Bruce Willis warns Kim Coates’ slap-happy henchman of the consequences of violating his personal bubble in The Last Boy Scout. It’s a laconic threat worthy of Bob Mitc... Continue reading... Comment Now (18 comments)
Back To TopEmpire States: Happy Birthday, Upside-downland! The greatest inverted moments in movie history
Posted on Tuesday January 26, 2010, 14:17 by Chris Hewitt in Empire States
 Strewth! It’s Australia Day! And so, to celebrate yet another birthday for our cousins Down Under, we’ve come up with, erm, a selection of the greatest upside down moments in movie history. Um, because Australia’s upside down, you see.
Batman
How unhinged is Michael Keaton’s Bruce Wayne? The answer, as seen in this brief scene where Kim Basinger’s Vicki Vale wakes up to find Master Wayne sleeping upside down like a bat, is “very”. It’s a cute little clue to his identity, an in-joke for audiences who already know that he’s the Batman and a sign to Vale that all may not be kosher with her billionaire boyfriend. Mind you, as a journalist, she should have her Pulitzer instantly revoked for not being able to work out that Batman and Bruce Wayne are one and the same. It’s all there, for pity’s sake!
Men In Black
Throughout the film, Will Smith’s Agent Jay has been told by Tommy Lee Jones... Continue reading... Comment Now (4 comments)
Back To TopEmpire States: What If... The Prestige Really Was Batman Vs Wolverine?
Posted on Monday January 18, 2010, 15:06 by Chris Hewitt in Empire States
Beware all ye who enter here, for spoilers lurk within.
A conversation in the Empire office, a couple of hours ago.
Dan [Empire’s Features Editor, World of Warcraft nut and bargain basement Colin Farrell look-a-like]: Does anyone know anything about that new film, Frozen?
Helen [Empire’s Deputy Online Editor, cupcake fanatic and all-round office encyclopaedia]: Yeah, it’s about two guys trapped on a ski lift.
Me [Empire’s News Editor, Call Of Duty sacrificial lamb and general nitwit]: But one of the guys is Shawn Ashmore, who’s Iceman in the X-Men movies. So why doesn’t he just magic up an ice slide and escape?
Dan: It doesn’t… real life… [sigh]… you’re a cretin.
That’s as maybe… but it still sparked off a furiously geeky conversation, and a world of possibilities: what if actors who played superheroes could carry over their sup... Continue reading... Comment Now (28 comments)
Back To TopOff The Wire: Doh! Raimi: Why Sam Was Just Right For Spider-Man
Posted on Tuesday January 12, 2010, 10:00 by Chris Hewitt in Off The Wire
 So, farewell then, Sam Raimi. Gone from the Spider-Man franchise before he could make things right and atone, if that’s the word, for Spider-Man 3. That was a movie that got away from Raimi, by his own admission, and it would have been nice to see his take on Spider-Man, unfettered by studio interference and the too-many-cooks approach.
Alas, that now will never be the case. And while there are considerable benefits to a Raimi-free rebooting of the franchise – we probably won’t have to endure Aunt May prattling on endlessly, causing audiences to wonder why the guy who shot Uncle Ben couldn’t have pegged her too; while Kirsten Dunst was always a bit mopey and wan as Mary-Jane – the man stamped his personality and style all over the franchise with considerable brio.
Bugger it, it sounds like he’s dead. He’s not, of course, and in the year when he made his most purely enjoyable film in years (that would be Drag Me To Hell, i... Continue reading... Comment Now (8 comments)
Back To TopEmpire States: Who Should Be The New Host Of The BBC's Film 2010, 2011...?
Posted on Thursday January 7, 2010, 13:34 by Chris Hewitt in Empire States
So Jonathan Ross has decided to leave the BBC. Which means that, when the next season of Film [Insert Year Here] comes back on our screens, there’ll be a different pair of hopefully pert buttocks in the chair that Ross has filled so well since Barry Norman retired.
But whose buttocks should they be? Here, we evaluate the runners and riders for the best job in film journalism.
Charlie Brooker
Who he? The Guardian’s brilliant, witty and terribly acerbic TV critic.
Pros: He’s something of a genius wordsmith, and he’s got lots of TV experience both in front of and behind the camera.
Cons: He’s the angriest man in the world, and wouldn’t like anything. ANYTHING. Might be too angry for Auntie Beeb.
James King
Who he? Radio 1’s resident film critic.
Pros: He’s got lots of experience, and has the common tou... Continue reading... Comment Now (77 comments)
Back To TopOff The Wire: Spider-Man 4: The Villain Conundrum
Posted on Wednesday January 6, 2010, 11:46 by Chris Hewitt in Off The Wire
 So, the word on the street is that Spider-Man 4 has been delayed because of script issues: namely, Sam Raimi wants the script to feature The Vulture (a role for which John Malkovich has already reportedly been costume-tested), and Sony doesn’t. Instead, they want Black Cat and A. N. Other-Bad-Guy.
In Raimi’s defence, he’s been on the Vulture campaign trail for some time now, apparently lobbying hard for the winged cueball to show up in Spider-Man 3. He was overruled then, with Sony and producer Avi Arad insisting that he go with Venom… and we all know how that turned out.
Also, Raimi’s had success with old-style Spider-villains. The cock-up with the Green Goblin’s costume aside, the character had the right blend of nastiness and insanity. Alfred Molina’s Doctor Octopus, from Spider-Man 2, is one of the finest comic-book movie villains of all time, and though Thomas Haden Church’s The Sandman was given to moments... Continue reading... Comment Now (34 comments)
Back To TopEmpire States: Empire's Dark Secret...
Posted on Tuesday December 1, 2009, 09:32 by Chris Hewitt in Empire States
 Team Empire has a dark secret. Not a check-under-the-floorboards kind of secret, but it’s a secret nonetheless.
We like to, erm, karaoke. There, I’ve said it. It’s out now. No putting the genie back in the bottle. We’re all frustrated rock stars and simply being a floor below Q at Mappin House doesn’t bring enough reflected glory for us. So every now and then a core group of Empireites head down to Lucky Voice (in the heart of London’s bustling Soho, travelogue fans), grab a couple of microphones and sing our little hearts out.
So, when we heard about the Mamma Mia! Christmas karaoke package currently running at Lucky Voice, we had to try it out. Simply put, karaoke fans can visit any of the chain’s branches in Soho, Islington or Brighton (sorry, Northerners and non-Londoners) and treat themselves to a package that includes 2 hours’ room hire, and comes with an exclusive, limited edition Mamma Mia! cocktail (more palatable than Pierce B... Continue reading... Comment Now (8 comments)
Back To TopOff The Wire: Warning: Avatar Can Be Extremely Bad For Your Health
Posted on Thursday November 26, 2009, 14:30 by Chris Hewitt in Off The Wire
 In news that has rocked Empire to its very core, James Cameron’s Avatar has just been rated PG-13 in the States for “intense epic battle sequences and warfare, sensuality, language and some smoking.”
Whoa, there. Careful now. Down with this sort of thing. Has Cameron gone too far with this wicked permissiveness? Audiences, of course, will have no problem with the epic battle sequences – warfare is part and parcel of modern life. They might even be able to put up with an F-bomb (just the one, mind; any more than that gets you the dreaded R), and cross their arms (and legs), harrumphing sternly at the ‘sensuality’ as, presumably, Sam Worthington’s Avatarred Jake Sully gets it on with Zoe Saldana’s Pandoran native, Neytiri.
But smoking? Tsk tsk, Jimbo, you have been a naughty boy. Now we know that Avatar, rather than being an attempt to drag cinema kicking and screaming into the 21st century with incredible 3D technology and ... Continue reading... Comment Now (18 comments)
Back To TopEmpire States: Paranormal Activity: The Empire Screening
Posted on Wednesday November 25, 2009, 12:16 by Chris Hewitt in Empire States
 It’s been hailed as one of the scariest films of all time. It’s a film so terrifying that when Steven Spielberg saw it, he got the willies something rotten and was convinced that his DVD screener was possessed. It’s had audiences across the US screaming their lungs out at its masterful and relentless bombardment of terror, propelling the film – which cost an estimated $11000 – to an astonishing $100 million gross, making it one of the most profitable films of all time.
It is, of course, Paranormal Activity, the lo-fi horror film from debutant director Oren Peli. It opens today in cinemas across the country and so, to mark the event, we thought it would be a champion wheeze to mount a special Empire screening of the movie for some lucky readers. But we didn’t want to use the anaesthetised, bland, everyday setting of a plush screening room. Oh, no, that would be too easy.
So we plumped, instead, for the spooky vibe and eldritch atmos... Continue reading... Comment Now (3 comments)
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