Empire States: Is This The Coolest Thing Ever?
Posted on Tuesday October 18, 2011, 16:41 by Chris Hewitt in Empire States
We all know that Morgan Freeman has the best voice in movies, right? His syrupy, wise, mellifluous tones are perfect if you need someone to narrate your movie. Or play God. Or tell us how the universe came about.
Or, as we discovered this morning when we called our good chums at Revolver Entertainment, when you need an automated telephone menu system and you’re tired of giving the job to some anonymous, dead-voiced robot.... Continue reading... Comment Now (24 comments)
Back To TopEmpire States: Monopoly In The Dark: The Alternative Blade
Posted on Friday January 21, 2011, 10:57 by Chris Hewitt in Empire States
 It’s arguably one of the greatest pay-off lines in movie history. It’s certainly one of the most bizarre.
Wesley Snipes' Blade, the half-human, half-vampire Daywalker, has finally – after a titanic struggle which saw more broken limbs than your average 1970s Leeds United match, and during which he almost lost his sunglasses – dispatched his nemesis, Deacon Frost (Stephen Dorff) by pumping gallons of anti-coagulant serum into his system. (Via, I should add, a series of nifty quick throws and finally a roundhouse kick that arrows a dart into Frost’s forehead.)
Not bad for a guy called Eric.
Then, as all movie heroes are contractually obliged to do, he delivers a payoff line. A payoff line is a line of cool, dismissive dialogue designed to show how spontaneous and clever and witty the hero is and not, it should be added, to make him look like a cold, callous bastard who trivialises murder. The ideal payoff line should a) involve a... Continue reading... Comment Now (59 comments)
Back To TopEmpire States: What We’re Thankful For: A Movie Special
Posted on Thursday November 25, 2010, 13:00 by Chris Hewitt in Empire States
 It’s Thanksgiving today across the Pond. Empire, of course, is a stiff-upper-lipped, drive-on-the-left, already-bought-three-Royal-Wedding-commemorative-mugs Brit through and through, but that hasn’t stopped us from reaching out to our American cousins, and taking a moment to consider what it is in the movie world right now that makes us thankful. It’s deep. It’s profound. It comes with a side order of vegetables and some cranberry sauce.
Chris Hewitt, News Editor
Right now, I’m thankful for:
Seth Rogen’s laugh. The greatest cinematic chuckle since Sid James, it promises raunch and debauchery in equal measure.
The viral video of Nicolas Cage losing his shit. I’m an unabashed, unashamed fan of Cage, an actor who never puts vanity before performance, and who isn’t afraid of stepping out onto a metaphorical ledge every time, and this video drives that home in four and a half hilarious minutes.
<... Continue reading... Comment Now (2 comments)
Back To TopEmpire States: Ireland For Sale
Posted on Monday November 22, 2010, 17:26 by Chris Hewitt in Empire States
 So, in case you haven’t been following the news lately, Ireland’s in a spot of financial bother. The sort of bother that means they’ve had to go straight past those lovely people from Wonga.com, and go cap in hand to the EU for some bailout money. Lots of bailout money. All the bailout money in the world, as far as we can tell.
But did it really have to come to this? Ireland is a beautiful country, steeped in cultural and cinematic treasures, and could make a bob or two by flogging those to the highest bidder. How much, for example, are the following little beauties worth?
Colin Farrell’s little black book
Although Ireland’s most legendary pork swordsman has never really made a habit of notching up A-listers (at least, that we know of), his list of conquests includes some of the world’s most beautiful women and would make Warren Beatty green with envy. His little black book would be like your very own, ultra-exclusive, dating sit... Continue reading... Comment Now (29 comments)
Back To TopSmall Screen: The World Cup: An Alternative Viewing Guide
Posted on Friday June 11, 2010, 13:25 by Chris Hewitt in Small Screen
The World Cup – that most glorious of football fests – starts today, in South Africa. And, while I’ve made detailed and unnecessarily complicated plans to watch pretty much every one of the 64 games coming our way over the coming month, word reaches me that Fifa’s brainchild isn’t to everyone’s liking. James Dyer, for example, refuses to acknowledge its existence and is the only curmudgeon in the office who wouldn’t take part in our World Cup sweepstake (I got Spain, by the way).
So, to cater for those film fans who think that the only good football match is the one that takes place in Escape To Victory, I’m going to put together a blog giving you viewing alternatives to the madness that’s taking place in South Africa.
The blog will be updated on a regular basis, so keep checking back.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
7.30pm, Spain v Germany... Continue reading... Comment Now (23 comments)
Back To TopEmpire States: Paddy Power Can't Give You Guillermo del Toro Back...
Posted on Tuesday June 1, 2010, 15:20 by Chris Hewitt in Empire States
 Paddy Power, those well-known film buffs (they’ve got every DVD in the Criterion Collection, except for Armageddon, which they taped off Sky), have just sent us the most staggering press release of the summer so far: a rundown of odds on the contenders to direct The Hobbit.
Paddy Power’s contenders, that is. For their list mainly seems to be a smattering of famous directors, rather than actual contenders to replace Guillermo del Toro at the helm of the Lord of the Rings prequel(s). There’s no Sam Raimi on there, for instance. No Neill Blomkamp (even though we think that he’s a true longshot). No Frank Darabont (who would be on any shortlist we drew up). Instead, we get… well, let’s take a look, shall we?
Sir Peter Jackson 5/4 – the overwhelming favourite. Nothing wrong with PJ’s name here – he did direct LOTR, after all, and is executive producer and co-writer of Continue reading... Comment Now (8 comments)
Back To TopEmpire States: Ash Cloud Vs Hollywood
Posted on Monday April 19, 2010, 16:45 by Chris Hewitt in Empire States
 It’s the number one story on everyone’s lips. Frankly, it’s the only thing people have been talking about in the Empire office today. How could Adrian Chiles jump ship from the BBC to join ITV? Will MOTD 2 ever be the same? What will Steve Rider do now that he won’t be hosting Formula 1 or football on ITV? Are they really going to get that dancing loon off BBC Breakfast to replace Chilesey on The One Show sofa?
Oh, and then there’s that bloody great big cloud of ash, jamming up the works and impacting on everyone’s lives. We thought, frankly, that it would be gone by now, but top boffins have punched in some numbers and now fear that the colossal column of pyroclastic nonsense could be with us for some time. There’s already talk that it could have a massive impact on an economy that’s just now starting to bloom again, with airlines losing millions with every passing day, and importers/exporters being unable to do what they do. But ther... Continue reading... Comment Now (6 comments)
Back To TopEmpire States: What Did Miramax Ever Do For Us?
Posted on Friday January 29, 2010, 11:54 by Chris Hewitt in Empire States
The scene: The Empire offices, Friday. Chris Hewitt is leading a news meeting (yes, we have news meetings).
Chris: So, Miramax has been closed down by Disney.
Helen O’Hara: We should do something on that. A celebration or something.
Chris: A celebration? Of Miramax? Are you mad? What have they ever given us?
Pause.
Ali Plumb: [meekly] Quentin Tarantino?
Chris: What?
Ali: Quentin Tarantino?
Chris: Oh yeah, Quentin Tarantino. After all, Harvey and Bob Weinstein were the guys who took a chance on him with Reservoir Dogs, and then partnered with him throughout his illustrious career. You could make a case that Miramax is the House That Quentin Built, so yeah, they did give us that.
Phil de Semlyen: And they introduced world cinema to a wider audience.
Helen: Oh yeah, world cinema, Chris. Rememb... Continue reading... Comment Now (5 comments)
Back To TopOff The Wire: He’s Back, He’s Bad, He’s Black, He’s Mad
Posted on Thursday January 28, 2010, 12:13 by Chris Hewitt in Off The Wire
 For my money, Shane Black may just be the best commercial screenwriter in Hollywood. From the first two Lethal Weapons through to The Monster Squad to The Long Kiss Goodnight, The Last Boy Scout and his wonderful directorial debut, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, nobody else in Hollywood – not even Tarantino – boasts Black's knack for tweaking genre tropes with an ear for tough-guy dialogue worthy of Chandler, Ellroy, Leonard.
So, naturally, I’m delighted by the news that he’s set to reteam with Mel Gibson on the spy thriller, Cold Warrior. And so should you. In case you need some persuasion, here are ten lines of dialogue that will make you glad that Black is back…
1. “Touch me again, and I’ll kill ya.”
Bruce Willis warns Kim Coates’ slap-happy henchman of the consequences of violating his personal bubble in The Last Boy Scout. It’s a laconic threat worthy of Bob Mitc... Continue reading... Comment Now (18 comments)
Back To TopEmpire States: Happy Birthday, Upside-downland! The greatest inverted moments in movie history
Posted on Tuesday January 26, 2010, 14:17 by Chris Hewitt in Empire States
 Strewth! It’s Australia Day! And so, to celebrate yet another birthday for our cousins Down Under, we’ve come up with, erm, a selection of the greatest upside down moments in movie history. Um, because Australia’s upside down, you see.
Batman
How unhinged is Michael Keaton’s Bruce Wayne? The answer, as seen in this brief scene where Kim Basinger’s Vicki Vale wakes up to find Master Wayne sleeping upside down like a bat, is “very”. It’s a cute little clue to his identity, an in-joke for audiences who already know that he’s the Batman and a sign to Vale that all may not be kosher with her billionaire boyfriend. Mind you, as a journalist, she should have her Pulitzer instantly revoked for not being able to work out that Batman and Bruce Wayne are one and the same. It’s all there, for pity’s sake!
Men In Black
Throughout the film, Will Smith’s Agent Jay has been told by Tommy Lee Jones... Continue reading... Comment Now (4 comments)
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