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Competitive Geek Baiting: Or, How To Start A Fanboy Fight

Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 14:29 by Helen O'Hara in Empire States
Competitive Geek Baiting: Or, How To Start A Fanboy Fight

With the Ashes still going on at the moment, it seems like the perfect moment to talk about the greatest sporting event of our times: competitive geek baiting. Starting as a Twitter tag, it's provided endless hours of amusement to Empire staffers in the last couple of days - and we've even caught a few geeks in our nets.

Here's how it works: you say something that's pretty much guaranteed to get geeks riled up, and sit back and wait for the explosions. If they oblige in blowing their top, you win. Congratulations!

 Here are a few choice offerings so far:

I like it that Greedo shot first

Star Wars: Attack of the Clones deserved those five stars.

Darth Vader looks good as Hello Kitty .

The Force being minute blood borne particles makes a lot more sense when you think about it. (from JAWilletts)

Wasn't it funny when Han stood on Jabba's tail? (from Winstano)

Hmm, for some reason those are all Star Wars ones. Please, lay on some more examples. We're off to Comic-Con next week and we need something that will guarantee that the whole 150,000 attendees will turn on us (well, Nick) - just so we can nip to the head of the Avatar queue while they're distracted. Sure, it means sacrificing Nick, who'll be ripped to pieces by an angry mob, but that's a small price to pay.

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Comments

1 conradthebarbarian2
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 15:53
Cyclops is the best x man. Better than wolverine.

2 conradthebarbarian2
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 15:53
Justin Timberlake should play green lantern.

3 scottishlegend
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 16:03
I think that Yoda has got to be the most useles jedi of all he never lets anyone finish there training
no way should he be a master

4 carter35
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 16:48
Jar Jar Binks is a interesting, sincere and stimulating character.

5 CB
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 17:02
I think Luke and Leia* would have made a better couple than Han and Leia

*Pronounced "Leah"

6 GFoley83
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 17:29
Batman would kick the face off Yoda.
Obi Wan Kenobi is gay. Proof? As a major character in 4 movies and a bit character in 2, he never had a love interest. Not even close. Why? Because nobody wants to see a gay Jedi Knight. Even in a galaxy far far away....

7 mblaze
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 17:30
Can't wait for the Venom spin-off! I hope Topher Grace is recast *crosses fingers*

8 BrianShields25
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 17:53
We came up with some good ones:

Tin Tin is the best comic ever

The Ewoks movies are by far the best works in the Star Wars extended universe.

Zac Efron would be great in the film adaptation of Y: The Last Man

The League of Extraordinary Gentleman is by far the best adaptation of Alan Moore's work

I think we could solve the energy crisis with Midichlorians, don't you?

Will Smith would be perfect as Captain America

The Podrace was easily the best action set piece in the Star Wars saga

Don't you think Picard would have looked better with a toupee?

Han should've said "I love you, too" before being frozen in carbonite.

I'm so glad they kept the rampant homoeroticism in the Lord of Rings movies, that was the best part of Tolkien's writing

9 BrianShields25
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 18:00
Nathan Fillion was horribly miscast as Malcolm Reynolds

I found the original Battlestar Galatica much more compelling

10 BrianShields25
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 18:05
Joel Schumacher is the only man who's truly understood the Dark Knight

11 D.J
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 18:28
Upset Terminator 2 fanboys at your peril folks, those guys can be scary.

12 D.J
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 18:29
Terminator 3 was the best in the series.

13 warren7355
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 18:33
The USS Enterprise could so kick a Star Destroyers ass.....

(Guaranteed to make SW geeks spontaneously combust)

14 Hangsh
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 18:40
To warren7355:

Are we talking about an average Star Destroyer or Vader's Super Star Destroyer?

In reference to Chris Hewitt's Blog, Don't you believe that the homoerotic nature of Optimus Prime gives the Tranformers series a contemporary edge?

15 bradthunder
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 18:41
Goodfellas is way and I mean WAY better than all the Godfather's put together.

16 bradthunder
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 18:42
Citizen Kane was shite.

17 Hangsh
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 18:44
The Lord of The Rings saga would have been better condensed into one film

18 Ethanial
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 18:53
When thought about Ryan Reynolds should have played Captain Hammer after his perfect turn as Deadpool.

19 deathbat6661
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 19:09
Star Wars: The Musical, who's in?

20 crabman32
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 19:27
The Dark Knight was shit.

21 BrianShields25
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 19:38
Few more:

They ought to bring back nipples on the bat suit.

Batman Begins should have given Katie Holmes considerably more screentime.

Thank god they killed off Firefly when they did, frankly I don't even know how that garbage got greenlit in the first place.

Didn't you just love David Lynch's Dune adaptation? So much better than that long-winded novel.

Alan Moore... Boring.




22 petecriss8000
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 19:39
They should remake The Crow

23 Scruffybobby
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 19:40
Frodo should have just hitched a lift to Mout Doom with one of those big eagle fellas, would have saved a hell of a lot of trouble

24 Ayanna
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 19:41
Jar Jar should've been Luke and Leia's father

25 Ayanna
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 19:43
LOTRs was the worst bag of shite since ID4.

26 Scruffybobby
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 19:43
Boba Fett is actually pretty useless.

Wesley Crusher was fuckin' badass

27 Ayanna
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 19:44
Indiana Jones 4 was the best of the series.

28 Ayanna
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 19:45
Hayden Christensen is a better actor than Alec Guinness.

29 Ayanna
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 19:46
2001: A Space Odyssey was shite

30 Ayanna
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 19:47
The Clone Wars movie was better than any from the saga

31 Ayanna
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 19:53
Replacing Anakin's ghost in Return of the Jedi was amazing!

Neo was a chump

Heath Ledger was shit as the Joker

The Psycho remake was better than the original

Batman & Robin is THE best batman movie

Jersey Girl is the best Kevin Smith movie

32 Kez
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 20:09
Kevin Smith films are shite

CSI New York is by far the most superior of all the CSI series


33 Barry
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 20:29
The Joker should be recast and appear in the next Batman film.


34 bender_rodriguez
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 20:33
Im glad they got rid of the squid in the Watchmen film

Watchmen graphic novel is sh*t

35 Ayanna
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 20:39
Wolverine is camp

36 general_potatoface
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 20:42
I'm glad they killed Dr. Beckett in Stargate Atlantis. His character was getting boring.

37 Ayanna
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 20:58
Jimmy Olsen is way cooler than Superman

38 J.L.Wroot
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 21:00
Here's a few:

Captain Archer was the best Star Trek captain.

Apocalypse Now was crap.

I think all zombies should run in movies.

39 blink
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 21:06
the ewoks MADE return of the jedi

40 blink
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 21:10
blade runner was sh*t

41 leroythemasochist
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 21:10
I think Dark Knight was brilliant and in no way did it get loads of press just because Heath Ledger died.
See? That's the best way to get a fanboy all pissed off! Say something that is ACTUALLY TRUE!!!

42 GreenJam
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 21:37
Brett Ratner to direct the next Batman, anyone?

43 mcd4
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 21:54

Twilight is a much better movie than the LOTR, because at least its based off of a book.


44 BrianShields25
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 21:55
You know what movie really needs to be remade?

Blade Runner

45 mcd4
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 21:57
Hollywood will do just about anything to make money. Harry Potter movies, action figures, video games, and now they're making a book about it?

46 mcd4
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 21:57
History will show that Battlefield Earth was an overlooked masterpiece.

47 BrianShields25
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 21:58
You know what movie really needs to be remade?

Blade Runner

ps. Just using the 'X is shit' template isn't very creative, nor funny

tip of the hat to scruffybobby with 'Wesley Crusher was fuckin' badass' , I almost spit out my drink

48 blink
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 22:00
the terminator series is a complete paradox and doesnt make sense

49 mcd4
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 22:05
I heard George Lucas' next project is a Star Wars/Pokemon crossover trilogy.

50 Yn Jouyll
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 22:23
I really think the voice-over in Blade Runner improved the movie. It never would have made any sense without it.

51 mcd4
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 22:33
The dialogue in Attack of the Clones was fantastic. If I were trying to woo Natalie Portman, I too would tell her that her skin was the like the opposite of coarse sand.

52 Yn Jouyll
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 22:34
I absolutely have to watch Anime with English dubbed in. I can't stand having to read the subtitles.

53 presidentcletus
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 22:43
Scott Bakula should STILL be captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise!

While we're at it: Has anyone else noticed the gay undertone in the relationship between Spock and Kirk? Or in fact, Kirk and every other male crew member of the Enterprise?

54 Bigandyt
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 22:47
Zombies are cooler and much much scarier when they run!

55 andrar_lee
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 22:51
Who's Deadpool?

56 andyoliver99
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 23:03
Umm, hate to point this out guys, but knowing enough about Star Wars/Trek, LOTR, Terminator and all the other assorted nerdophiliia to upset a fanboy actually points to the fact that you ARE a fanboy!
...or maybe you don't get irony!

57 eaws1
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 23:22
Madonna to be cast as Wonder Woman... from young teenage princess through to old age. She's so versatile!

58 Domble
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 23:47
- I can't wait for the remake of the rocky horror picture show. I hope they cast Russel Brand as Franknfurter; he'd give an honest performance.

- Marvel can't write a comic without making superficial references to pop culture.

- DC can't publish a comic that's actually set in any sort of timeline, the archaic fucks.

- A remake of Oldboy? Shit yeah, sign me up!

- Yeah Keanu Reeves was perfect casting, if you ask me.

- Maggott was the best X-man, I'll glass anyone who says otherwise.


59 The900MidNightBee
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 23:58
'Boy! How awesome was it to see Shia LaBeouf swinging with those monkeys?! I do hope he and George Lucas can carry on making Indy films'

'Gus Van Sant's Psycho was better than the original. Who directed that again?'

60 fish that roared
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 00:01
They should remake Saving Private Ryan from Wolverine's point of view as he storms Omaha Beach, defeats Rommel in Africa, rescues the British in Operation Market Garden and then has a fistfight with Hitler in his bunker. In fact every movie should have Wolverine in.

Heroes is a well thought out and compelling series

61 Domble
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 00:02
wow andyoliver99, missing the point AND making yourself sound like a dick.

Double points!

62 daveattwood69
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 00:05
Chris Nolan could have improved Batman Begins and The Dark Knight by goring down the camp route of the legendary Batman and Robin

63 Jingo
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 00:10
A Doctor Who movie should have a woman in the title role.

64 The900MidNightBee
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 00:21
'The Big Lebowski is shit. It makes no sense and is just not funny.'

'Madonna should defintely star in a remake of Casablanca'

'I felt cheated with the Lord of The Rings. I have to pay 3 times to see a single film split into 3? Naa mate. Long and Boring anyway. I like films like Scary Movie films and the American Pie movies. They're well good. How many oscars did they win cause they should have won loads.'

65 The900MidNightBee
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 00:24
'Sean Connery should voice smaug!'

66 Anarchy Guy
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 01:10
I thought Gavin Hood did a really good job with Deadpool.

I think the new Star Trek really benefitted from all the action and general entertainment value added to it.

Bringing Predator into a city made the film more easily identifiable.

Well of course the predators brought the aliens to earth and hid them in a pyramid beneath the antarctic, it makes perfect sense.

This final one will really get them:

I think they should remake Alien... wait, hang on.

67 billythehick
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 01:11
"when you think about it, Brett Ratner actually did a pretty good job..."

68 roogieman
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 01:15
I feel bad for the Fellowship of the Ring, as it had to be released alongside the far superior Harry Potter: and the Philosophers Stone.

What's a nubian?

Clurks 2 is better than Clurks because it was done in color, and had a man shagging a donkey lololol

If Professor Xavier is so clever why doesn't he just walk?

I hope one day they make a Batman/Spiderman movie.

I think it was waaaay cool when Han Solo blew up Dark Vaders metal planet.

How comes Alien isn't called Alien vs Woman to keep up with the later (better) Alien vs Predator movies?

Curb Your Enthusiasm - I don't get it.

OMG Yoda is sooo supercute, i hope he and pikachu can have babies!










69 lona_no_friends
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 01:18
I loved it when Obi-Wank Kenobi told Luke that he was his father

Han Solo was my favourite Jedi Knight

70 lona_no_friends
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 01:19
I genuinely didnt mean to put that extra K after Obi-Wan...

71 billythehick
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 01:21
"when you think about it, Brett Ratner actually did a pretty good job..."

72 Juhani
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 01:29
I still don't get why Stuart Townsend was sent home and was replaced by Viggo Mortensen. Miscast!

73 Grace82
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 01:39
The Ewoks were the best Star Wars characters because the Rebel Alliance wouldn't have won without them.

74 Grace82
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 01:40
I think George Clooney was a great Batman.

75 Juhani
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 01:51
Twilight is the best vampire flick EVER.

76 iainjames
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 02:47
"How come Dumbledore is gay but played by a straight guy, and Gandalf is straight but played by a gay guy? I don't get it..."

77 Frug
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 02:51
The Academy made the right decision nominating The Reader instead of The Dark Knight for the Best Picture Oscar.

78 t1nkerbell
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 08:41
Best thing ever, letting Rogue take that antidote

79 Indran
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 09:12
I hope they never cancel Simpsons. It just gets better every season.

Kill Bill is Tarantino's best work. Pulp Fiction just sucked.

Eragon is possibly the greatest action film ever. Much quicker and more fun than that boring Lord of the Rings series and its 15 + hours or something of gay tension.

If that doesn't get your goat I don't know what will! My fingers damn near bled just from typing this.

80 postgrape
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 09:17
S. Darko is far superior to Donnie Darko.

Stringer Bell and Omar should've been killed off in the first season of The Wire.

Band Of Brothers is unrealistic and actually very dull.

I can't wait for the American remake of Let The Right One In!

Moonraker is the best Bond film, no contest.

I'm so glad Aaron Sorkin left The West Wing; his sentimentalism was too hard to stomach, and his writing was mundane at best.

The end of Reservoir Dogs makes no sense; Eddie goes down without getting shot.

81 postgrape
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 09:58
and a couple more...

Orlando Bloom should've been cast as Aragorn.

There's nothing funny or clever about the Evil Dead films, and Bruce Campbell is a poor man's Jim Carey.*


*saying this just to bait someone nearly led to me being chased out of a pub...

82 filmburner30
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 10:11
Withnail and I is incredibly boring it needed more reserved behaviour

Uwe Boll should direct the Hobbit

Love Honour and Obey is better than the Sopranos

Heartbeat is more realistic than The Wire

Chris Tucker should have won an Oscar for the Fith Element

83 siyoung91
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 10:19
I reckon Robert Pattinson was a better vampire than Bela Lugosi.

84 Scruffybobby
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 10:22
Just thought of something that actaully happened to me that would be perfect.

On seeing someone in a Goonies t-shirt say "The Goonies? Is that a band?"

85 VAL MCKEE
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 10:54
Wow Ryan Reynolds is the Green Lantern!
But more importantly who's gonna play Kato?

86 Charles Griffyn
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 11:13
Smallville and Superman Returns are WAYYYY better than any of the ones with Christopher Reeve.

87 jmebaby25
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 11:53
The ending to the Watchmen film was far superiour than in the comic. Alan Moore should rewrite it with the new, "superior" ending.

He should also shave

88 SWOTBM
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 12:01
Brian Michael Bendis doesnt use enough dialogue.

89 Mopictures
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 12:17
I LIKED DEADPOOL WITHOUT A MOUTH!

90 Mopictures
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 12:20
"I was never really into Trek films, but now I am because of JJ. Abrams..."

91 barringtoncomesalive
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 12:29
RE: Star Trek 11 - just because Kirk was an awesome captain and good friend to Spock in an alternative time line/ universe, doesn't mean in this alternative future he's anything less than a horny bully who doesn't deserve the captain's chair.

When you've spent most of your life training to be the best at what you do and only by the skin of your teeth managed to get a position on the Enterprise and some guy whose dad once sat in a captains chair for a nono-second swaggers in and punches out all the senior officers, then sits in their chair, is it admiration and respect they should feel or American neo-fascism parading as prophesy and destiny and therefor feel a little bit betrayed by the Star Fleet hierarchic system.

Ergo: Star Trek was senseless in context at best, or the beginning of the evil alternative future, Star Trek: The Goatees Of Doom.

if your gonna anger a geek it must be something that cant be argued with.

92 Mopictures
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 12:33
I love the Alien/Human hybrid at the end of "Alien: Resurrection", especially when he goes "Meeeooowww!" Peak of the whole franchise, methinks.

93 Mopictures
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 12:34
"Life will NOT find a way."

94 Mopictures
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 12:46
"Hey, if it wasn't for America, we never would have been able to crack the Enigma device!"

95 Roddersj04
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 13:16
Star Trek Enterprise was the best thing to happen to the series.

96 Roddersj04
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 13:17
Captain Archer's dog, Porthos, could beat Picard and Kirk with 3 of his paws cut off

97 Roddersj04
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 13:20
Dollhouse is WAY better than Buffy, angel and Firefly

98 Roddersj04
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 13:21
They should have cast Scott Bakula as Han Solo

99 Roddersj04
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 13:23
Storm and Jean Grey should have gotten together

100 Roddersj04
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 13:24
George Lucas should continue on the Star Wars Saga, only he should replace the entire cast with mimes, and make it a film for the blind. 100TH POST

101 kyle-d
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 13:29
The idea of bringing Wash back as a robot for a firefly spinoff called "Washes' Adventures" was recently picked up by Fox for a pilot, I'm excited....

102 kyle-d
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 13:31
That Jurassic Park IV script with dino-soldiers should be picked up and greenlit as soon as possible....

103 Gerard Prior
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 13:32
postgrape - "Bruce Campbell is a poor man's Jim Carey". Awesome, awesome, awesome.

P.S where can I get a Hello Kitty Darth Vader costume?

104 warren7355
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 13:42
The900MidNightBee - 'Sean Connery should voice smaug!'

Hahah, subtle genius ;-)


Scruffybobby - 'Wesley Crusher was fuckin' badass'

I think you win the thread with this one!

105 antswar
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 13:43
"babylon 5 is a big pile of shite" stolen blatently from spaced of course.

106 Indiana James
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 14:13
Deadpool was so goddamn annoying. Thank god they stitched his mouth shut.

I don't know why they didn't just recast Jake Lloyd as Anakin in Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith.

Seeing Boba Fett in Attack of the Clones just made him cooler.

I still can't decide which Star Wars film was the best. For me it's a dead heat between The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones and The Clone Wars.

107 gorshkov
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 14:18
The Matrix doesn't make any sense, the concept is flawed.

Alternatively, reloaded and revolutions are better than the first.

LOST is definitely the worst tv show of all time

108 darraghlucey
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 14:46
Tom Selleck would have been a much better Indiana Jones! C'mon, look at Magnum.

D'you not think that Tim Burton's films are all a bit, I d'know, samey?

109 MAL1201
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 15:07
McG definitely DID NOT massively overhype Terminator: Salvation and then forget to make a film that wasn't littered with crappy effects, bad edits, underwritten characters and enormous plot holes, and certainly DID NOT slap Terminator fans repeatedly in the face for two bloody hours and then basically leave a "to be continued" sign on the end.

Also, only showing Arnie for TWO WHOLE SECONDS was a masterstroke. Give the man The Dark Knight Returns, The A-Team and the latter two parts of the proposed Avatar trilogy. He'd show James Cameron how it's done!

Oh, and The Wire is overrated, juvenile pap. Jimmy McNulty isn't fit to lick T. J. Hooker's bootstrap.

110 serpheus
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 15:15
Blade 3 was so much cooler than the first two.
Arwen should have joined the fellowship.
Darth Maul was definately a closet homosexual.
In temple of doom i thought willie scott was hilarious.

111 The900MidNightBee
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 15:46
"I heard Uwe Bowll is preparing a movie adaptation of 'Metal Gear Solid' though cause they can't get Sean Bean to play Liquid Snake, Danny Dyer is attached."
(Always upsets my friend that there does)

112 Roddersj04
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 16:38
The klingons were actually members of the taliban

113 littlechris
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 16:43
They should remake the original Star Wars Trilogy to be inkeeping with the excellent prequels. Casting Hayden Christensen as Luke, Miley Cyrus as Princess Leia, Zac Effron as Han Solo and Ja Rule as Chewbacca!

114 J.L.Wroot
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 16:55
Another few:

Getting Paul W.S Anderson to remake The Long Good Friday is genius!

I can see the similarity between Liev Schreiber in Wolverine and Tyler Mane in X-men 1 - as well as the similarity between Brian Cox and Danny Huston.

The Golden Compass was the best book-to film adaptation EVER.

CGI made the Star Wars films - not model re-enactments of WW2 dogfights!

The Chronicles of Riddick was the best possible sequel to Pitch Black.

The Italian Job deserved a remake.

Following on from that - Mark Wahlberg is THE GREATEST ACTOR EVER.

Gone With The Wind: The Musical - GENIUS - especially with casting Darius!

The Star Wars Christmas Special should win an Oscar.

I completely understood the plot in Quantum of Solace.

115 Roddersj04
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 17:22
The only way Twilight could be any good is if they send in Lestat, Dracula, Spike, Blade, Angelus and Buffy The Vampire Slayer into the film to destroy every single character in that worthless excuse for a series.
(Those are actually my own sentiments)

116 chrysalisloall
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 18:10
I wish they'd bring Boba Fett back to life, it sucked that he died in RotJ, he had an awesome stare.

I hope they bring Legolas back in the Hobbit

I think the Matrix is highly original and more films should try and imitate it.

Superman having a son is such a good idea, now you can have a sequel called Superman and Son with Brett Ratner as director

Wooh, the gophers are confirmed for Indy V

Can't wait to see Shatner's deleted scene on the Star Trek DVD

The watch part in Pulp fiction is so deep and meaningful, I bet it was that watch that is in the case.


117 chizmund
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 18:23
If Jack and Kate and Sawyer and them went back to 1977, how come none of them remember it?

Yeah, but why are there polar bears on The Island? They still haven't explained that!

I loved Tobey Maguire's hair in Spiderman 3 (*missing hyphen is deliberate*)

The effects in Evil Dead II are pretty shoddy aren't they?

I loved the ending of A.I.

Sin City? Sin Shitty, more like.

Who's Guillermo Del Toro?

Aiplane? Naked Gun? You think they're "spoofs"? Clearly you've never seen Meet The Spartans.

"I'm Juggernaut, bitch!" Awesome.

What's my favourite Star Wars movie? Uummm... Oooh, what's the one with the whales?

Which one is Egon? Is he the blond one?

118 chrysalisloall
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 18:30
Few more

Watchmen has a good soundtrack, but I think they should of used Alexandra Burke's version of Hallelujah

Fight Club is for sadomasachists

Why did Chewie suddenly get a lot of kids in the final film?

I think they should remake the original Star Trek episodes to show the Klingons with their foreheads as they were in Next Gen.

Spider-man 4 had better show more Mary Jane.

119 Mopictures
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 18:53
Pan's Labyrinth was OK, I guess.

120 VincentWire
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 19:22
When you think about it, the original Star Trek series is actually a fascist society. They always respect rank and orders without question, are inherently racist towards the Klingons and they invade other races' planets and tell them how they should behave all the time.

121 Zara0
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 20:57
Lost? Is it that show with the hot guy?

I really loved Summer Glau in Battlestar Galactica!

Capitain Picard will never be as good as his father, Captain Kirk...

Star Wars, Star Trek... Potato, potato...

... then Anakin turns into Darth Vader because Obi-Wan was sleeping with Amidala since Episode I.

Time traveling? That doesn't make any sense...

Awn, Spock and Uhura are so cute together!

122 The900MidNightBee
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 21:04
'Who gives a shit whether Deckards a replicant or not?! It's only a fucking movie!'

123 woody1812
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 21:40
Guillermo always makes his best films in Spanish, so I can't understand.
Sofia Coppola should remake them all with her unique eye for costume.
Jaws should have had more shark, maybe touched up in 3D by George Lucas.

124 spartacus533
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 21:44
1) I liked Blade Runner with the voice over.

2) I'm starting a campaign. 'Ratner for Batman 3'

125 MAL1201
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 21:54
I'm glad Gridhouse got split in two for UK release.
I'm glad that all the fat bloggers in America had a chance to NOT go and see it.
And I'm glad that I had to wait almost half a friggin' year to see one part and then almost two MORE months to see the second part.

126 Scruffybobby
Posted on Saturday July 18, 2009, 22:46
BrianShields25
Posted on Friday July 17, 2009, 21:58


tip of the hat to scruffybobby with 'Wesley Crusher was fuckin' badass' , I almost spit out my drink

104 warren7355


Scruffybobby - 'Wesley Crusher was fuckin' badass'

I think you win the thread with this one!


Why thank you very much gents!

127 Bigandyt
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 00:20
Alien Resurrection is without doubt the best movie - Winona Ryder as a robot genius!

128 general_potatoface
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 00:42
andyoliver99 - Umm, hate to point this out guys, but knowing enough about Star Wars/Trek, LOTR, Terminator and all the other assorted nerdophiliia to upset a fanboy actually points to the fact that you ARE a fanboy!
...or maybe you don't get irony!
~~~

You're either the biggest genius of us all, or a dick.

129 Flashy
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 08:58
A dull and painfully unfunny thread.

130 Woodland Bear
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 09:46
I can't believe that Firefly lasted as long as it did.
Is 'Return Of The Jedi' the one with all the Oompa Loompas?
I hope they bring back Jar Jar Binks for the next Star Trek.
My favourite hobbit was the tall one with the beard and the magic.
I didn't notice any plot holes in Terminator: Salvation.
Joss Whedon's okay. I guess.

131 dave123
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 10:53
The Hobbit obviously should have gone to McG to direct!

132 Marwood
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 12:06
How about:

"Terminator 3 was better than The Terminator"

"The Lord of The Rings was just really boring, all the characters did was walk around from one fight to another"

"Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions were better than the first film"

"Joss Whedon sucks" (this will start a war)

"Simon Pegg isn't funny"

"Venom was done perfectly in Spider-Man 3" (this one may reduce some fans to tears if said nastily enough)

"Roger Moore is by far the best James Bond" (ouch)

"Daredevil was awesome! Way better than The Dark Knight!"

"Twilight is shit. Pure shit."

"The new ending to Watchmen was much better than the comic book ending. It made perfect sense"

"Alien Resurrection is the best of the series"

133 bossman_maverick
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 12:27
The "twins" from Transformers 2 were the best, way better than Optimus Prime.

Are green lightsabres more expensive than blue ones?

Capt. Picard is James T. Kirk but older....

Who would win in a fight between the T-1000 and Wolverine?

134 calumnorth
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 13:40
How cool are the orange lightsabers?

135 Sonic_Tom
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 15:26
I'm so glad that Keanu Reeves was cast as Constantine - Brilliant

136 spartacus533
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 15:52
What? The Godfather Trilogy? Well, the third one wasn't bad I suppose....

137 BenPethullis
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 16:28
Dick Van Dyke should be the next captain of the USS Enterprise, there'll probably be room to find a part for Barry too

138 exandakane
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 16:32
I love saying that the Lord of the Rings trilogy is better than the original Star Wars trilogy. Of course, I love it precisely because it is true, and those who would argue otherwise are left in the somewhat awkward position of deriding what is an utterly compelling and obviously superior trilogy, and they know it. It must be hard to defend such a daft, childish infantilisation of science fiction, especially against such a weighty trilogy as Lord of the Rings.

139 jk3555
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 17:42
'I dont think Robert Pattinson is good looking at all.'

When said within 30 metres of any adolescent fangirls, there will be blood.


140 Hazzer
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 17:48
"The slave Leia scenes were disgustingly misogynistic and totally ruined ROTJ"

"Blade Runner made no sense! What was the point of all the questions when they've got photographs of the replicants? What was Zhora doing in the nightclub? Why didn't Harrison Ford just shoot her? Why didn't Roy kill him at the end? While we're on the subject, no one would design slave robots with human faces and personalities. Seriously, whoever wrote that script should be shot."

"The Big Lebowski was spoilt by all that swearing..."

And for film geeks/buffs...

"Why didn't the Indians just shoot the horses?"

141 Indiana James
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 19:11
• M. Night Shalayman is one of the most talented filmmakers of our generation.
• Daniel Radcliffe is so much better looking than Robert Pattinson.
• Give me Twilight over LOTR any day.
• Judd Apatow should really just grow up.
• Cars is undoubtedly the best Pixar film yet, that is until Cars 2 comes out of course.
• Donnie Darko is overrated.
• They should make a Shawshank sequel!
• Eddie Murphy as The Riddler is a great idea.


142 Agent Johnson
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 20:08
Highlander 2 and the rest of the sequels relly expandend the Highlander universe in a really cool way

143 dill mill
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 21:53
There could probably be 2 highlanders

144 tejrai
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 22:00
"has anyone read the books based on the Harry Potter films? they're not as good of course"

145 Garet6
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 23:02
What do you mean they cut Jar Jar out of 'A New Hope'?!

146 Monkey_of_steel
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 23:40
Zac Efron would be great as Marty Mcfly, when are they doing the remake?

I didn't get the point of Transformers; CGI robots hitting CGI robots, where's the depth in that?

(for academics) You know who should star in the remake of Dr. Caligari? Tom Cruise and Ben Barnes.

Van Helsing could kick Wolverine's arse.

All films should be like The Day The Earth Stood Still! The remake, that is.

I think they should keep on doing Harry Potter films after the seventh one (go on, take the bait, take the bait, you know you want to correct me, just do it)

Just trying out some off these on imdb - cannot wait for the blood and mountain dew to flow ")

147 jackavent2
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 23:49
"They should remake old Doctor Who episodes so they are more relevant for a contemporary audience"
"When will we have a female/American Doctor?"
"Before Twilight, Vampire films were ridiculous"
"What's the big fuss over The Next Generation? Everybody knows Patrick Stewart is a stage actor, and everybody knows stage actors are inferior to television actors"

148 Barricade77
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 23:54
Adding Grimlock or Shockwave to the next Transformers film is a mistake, and Bay should instead use Cy-Kill and Leader-1 from the GoBots, both of whom will sound like Gremlins when not making knob jokes. Fans will appreciate their favourite characters being kept in reserve for the inevitable franchise reboot in ten years time.

149 postgrape
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 01:11
It might not be geek baiting exactly, but I once posed a question that caused a conversation several hours in length much to my surprise and eventual horror...

Jack Bauer vs James Bond... who would win?

150 The900MidNightBee
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 01:39
'Superman is not a superhero! He's a frickin' Alien!'

151 Frug
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 06:15
Michael Bay should direct the next Batman movie.

152 JoKeRJaMeZ
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 11:03
Some Like It Hot is way unfunnier than Disaster Movie.

153 mcmuffin
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 11:07
Whats the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek?

154 Roddersj04
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 11:15
star trek enterprise deserved a fourth season


155 Dr Quinzel
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 11:17
Buffy only got good when they introduced Dawn.

Torchwood series one and two were great, but they really ballsed it up with that new series.

156 a_man_and_his_monkey
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 11:44
watchmen was shite.

*i don't know if this comment belongs in this talkback as i actually mean it....

157 DImperio
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 11:46
Shia should definitely have put the fedora at the end of Crystal Skull.

or

The Fridge scene was a classic Indy moment.

or...

Indy5 should all be about Mutt!!

158 DImperio
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 12:02
Kevin Sorbo as Conan!
Please!!!!

159 whitemouse
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 12:15
Empire Strikes Back was alright but really I wanted to know what JaJa was up to

160 whitemouse
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 12:17
Comic Book Movies really treaded water until Shaquille O'Neal's Steel made me pay attention

161 whitemouse
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 12:20
Joss Whedon's work on Speed and Waterworld was good, I just don't think he was cut out for making TV shows though

162 Hochopepa
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 12:46
Think how much better the Watchmen film would have been had it been directed by Joel Schumacher.

They should remake 2001: A Space Odyssey but cut out the boring bits at the start and end. And they should give HAL a robotic body, like a Terminator, so we can have a big action fight scene.

163 robhes
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 13:01
Yeah, but have you actually WATCHED Stallone's Get Carter? It's far superior in so many ways

164 steveg66
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 13:18
Halle Berry's Cat Woman was better than Pfeiffer's.




165 TheMadFatChickKiller
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 13:20
I really like it when they remake all those Asian horror films, less scary and all in English.

Why doesn't Harry Potter just buy a gun? Would mean the movies are shorter.

I heard Paul WS Anderson is going to direct the next HellBoy.

The ending of King Kong is just so unrealistic - it'd be too windy on top of the Empire State Building (this one I actually used on IMDB)

Giallo films are all rubbish.

166 steveg66
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 13:21
RE: DImperio
Kevin Sorbo as Conan!
Please!!!!

That was funny enough to just blast my brown coloured fizzy drink out through my nostrils! Eyes still watering. V Good!


167 TheMadFatChickKiller
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 13:24
They should remake the Terminator with a bigger budget, and make it a 12 so kids can go and see it.

Why are the costumes in Watchmen so silly looking?

168 veryweirgduy
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 13:27
Can't wait for them to make the Watchmen sequel.

169 excelsior
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 13:40
Geek baiting...hhmmmmmmm! Pots and kettles....anyone? Still here goes:
1. Mummy 3: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor has Raiders beat all ends up. Football playing yetis...that's all I'll say.

2. Why wasn't John Voigt's performance in Anaconda Oscar nominated?

3. Best Batman? George Clooney...hands down!

4. The X-Men movies were OK. They could've been improved by being shorter and have twice as many mutant cameo's.

5. X-Men Origins: Wolverine...Brilliant but a mid-point song and dance number would've elevated it to new heights.

6. Orson Welles couldn't direct traffic!

7. Peter Parker's High School should've had the HSM3 cast in it...imagine the possibilities?

8. The Godfather? Take the tissues out of your gob Marlon...then you'd really have something!

9. Apocalypse Now....greatest Surfing Movie...ever!

10. Dustin Hoffman's Rainman was a bit quiet wasn't he? I thought you had to shout to win a Oscar?

'nuff said

170 Jo Wareham
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 13:41
1. I can't wait to see the Buffy film without Joss Whedon's involvement.
2. I suppose Russell T Davies did an okay job on Doctor Who but it's not like it's really a hit though is it?
3. (personal favourite as read in the Daily Mail TV guide) ITV's much superior to Doctor Who Saturday night TV Fare - Primeval

171 piccolo135
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 13:45
Why buy the dvd when you've already seen it once?? (my partners favourite comment, gets my blood boiling every time!)

172 siogorath
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 13:47
1) To quote Kevin Smith: "Lord of The Rings was just three films about a couple of guys walking to a mountain"

2) Watchmen was just gay. I know this by being forced to watch a big blue penis for almost 3 hours...

3) Torchwood: Children of Earth was the best Russell T Davies ever wrote. Even better than Dr Who.

173 Jo Wareham
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 13:50
Buffy was okay but Charmed was so much better

174 Hywel
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 13:50
Kate Capshaw is the only reason to watch any Indiana Jones movie.

175 britesparc
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 13:59
I thought the best bit of Wolverine was when Deadpool didn't have a mouth.

Personally, I prefer George Clooney as Batman.

And the costumes in Batman & Robin were better, too.

The new Transformers designs are WAY better than the ones from the 80s.

Halle Berry is a much better Catwoman than Michelle Pfieffer - and her costume was more realistic.

Perfect casting - Stallone as Judge Dredd. Especially when he removes his helment.

Second best casting - Keanu as John Constantine. He nails the accent, and I love his hair.

176 DImperio
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 14:20
I hate when when they put those ... "secret santas" (or whatever) in movies. I mean putting ET in Phantom Menace was just ridiculous.

177 iainski
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 14:22
Law & Order's better than The Wire. It's soooooo dull.

I love that bit in Jedi when Vader's like: "Luke, I'm your dad."

Rocky 5 is awesome! Tommy Gunn would've battered Drago, Creed and Clubber Lang, that's why it's so impressive Rocky beats him.

Hitch-hikers Guide The Movie: Spot on!

178 DImperio
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 14:43
Gi Joe looks awesome and truthful to the source cartoons!!

179 sdenisch
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 14:55
uwe boll is the greatest director ever! Dungeon seige is better than Dark Knight and Iron Man combined

180 rob_devitt
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 15:13
I think we have a winner with no. 47. Even if he is being a bit holier than thou.

I'll throw in my 2 cents. I was watching Oprah the other day and Tom Cruise said George Lucas ripped off all his best bits in Star Wars from L Ron Hubbard.

181 rob_devitt
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 15:17
129 Flashy
Posted on Sunday July 19, 2009, 08:58
A dull and painfully unfunny thread.

Well bugger off then

182 rob_devitt
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 15:21
I hate they way those Scream movies are so smug with their inside jokes and refrences and the discussion on the Godfather bucking the trend on sequel diminishing returns. It's not like it was hard, the first one was awful. To think Craven passed up another installment of Nightmare on Elm street and Freddie vs The stay Puft Marshmallow man boggles the mind.

183 rob_devitt
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 15:25
Alan Moore. What a sellout!

184 rob_devitt
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 15:33
Blu-Ray my arse. I still have my 12" video disks and they look fine on my portable.

185 rob_devitt
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 15:34
I'd love Zack Snyder to remake LOTR. Imagine all those fight scenes done in slo mo? the films would be 5 hours long each.

186 rob_devitt
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 15:36
Here's one for the Empire nerds to get rilled about.

In my opinion Nathan Fillon actually decreases the quality of a film by 27% possibly more.

So does Sam Rockwell and "Sir" christopher Lee.

187 rob_devitt
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 15:42
The PS3 is waaaaaay better than the xbox 360.

Oh wait, wrong forum!

188 steveg66
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 15:47
If they remake The Green Mile, please cast Eddie Murphy as John Coffey

189 bwaller
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 15:52
'…and then he says to the man, "I'll be right back", and drives a car through the Police Station wall!'

190 PJimmy
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 15:52
The Star Wars Expanded Universe doesn't count.

191 bwaller
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 15:53
'…and that bit where he says to Sara O'Conner, "Come with me if you want to, love"…'

192 PJimmy
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 15:55
The Star Wars Expanded Universe counts.

193 rocko
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:02
Gi Joe looks like crap, accelerator suits? Who the hell came up with that?

194 boblog
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:05
I love the bit in the 2nd Transformers film where the police officer from the future turns into the silver metal and fights Arnie with swords....

195 The Equalizer
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:26
"Chuck Norris is just a poor man's Michael Dudikoff"

"Yeah, and my favourite Star Wars villain is those funny robot dudes. What they called? The Bjorn?" (two birds, one stone, guaranteed to get someone going "I'm gonna pwn you"


196 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:30
The SFX in the 'monkey-swinging' scene in Indy 4 were great

197 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:35
The Fantastic Four movies are the best Marvel adaptions by far

198 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:36
That car in Supernatural is pretty cool - it's the same as the Dukes of Hazzard only painted black isn't it?

199 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:37
The new Knight Rider is soooo much better

200 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:38
If he hadn't died, Bernie Mac would be perfect as BA in the new A-Team film

201 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:39
The old Battlestar Galactica is soooo much better

202 Davegod21
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:40
Isn't it amazing the Natalie Portman has become a bigger star than Jake Lloyd?

203 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:40
I hope Jar Jar wasn't on Alderaan when Dark Vador blew it up

204 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:42
They should re-make 2001, but without all the monekys and classical music.

205 DImperio
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:44
Nic Cage would have been a brilliant Superman!!

206 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:45
Mr. Freeze should be the baddy in the next Batman film

207 Davegod21
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:47
What's with all those Stan Lee cameos? Sorry, I just don't get it.

208 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:49
How cool would it have been if Sauron got a body at the end of Lord of the Rings and had a big sword fight with that Strider guy?

209 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:51
The best Transformer is that one who can go into a train and also a spaceship

210 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:52
Ultra Magnus was way cooler than Optimus Prime

211 Isis
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:53
Wolverine and Sabretooth are brothers? That makes so much sense!

212 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:54
Why wasn't Orko in the He-Man film? It would have been way better...

213 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 16:56
The Dungeons & Dragons cartoon would have been so depressing if it wasn't for that cute unicorn

214 bwaller
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 17:03
The Joker in The Dark Knight was nowhere near as funny as Jim Carrey in Batman Forever (THE best in the original Bat-Quadrilogy IMHO) – what a missed opportunity!

215 DImperio
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 17:16
Not sure which one i prefer: Ghost Rider, or Spawn, ... or the Punisher with Thomas Jane (another excellent example of perfect casting btw!!)....

216 PaoloCorleone
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 17:16
In ROTS Anakin DID bring balance to the Force! And I can prove it as well

217 Davegod21
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 17:16
Bill Pullman's rousing speech in ID4 has been such an inspiration in my life.

Matt Damon in The Bourne movies is just a cut-price George Lazenby.

Who would have thought that a Scottish milkman could master so many foreign accents.

Perhaps they should have made a television series to follow up 'Serenity'.

They only cast Patrick Stewart as Prof Xavier because he's bald.


218 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 17:26
Moonraker is the best Bond film... by far!

In Star Trek Voyager, the episode Tuvix was such a clever, well executed idea

Muppets Tonight was way better than The Muppet Show

Hook - Best Spielberg film ever!

Return of the Jedi is far better with that song and dance routine in Jabba's palace

Family Guy is just a re-write of The Simpsons for adults

The new Red Dwarf was AMAZING!!!!

In Blade Runner, he's not really a robot - it's just a dream, that's what the origami horse is all about

Wouldn't it have been cool if they went into the Stargate and came out on the Enterprise!!??

I love it when Doctor Spock says "Beam Me Up Scotty"

219 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 17:32
Colin Baker was the best Doctor Who

220 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 17:46
They should let Guy Ritchie remale The Godfather series, but set it in East London

In Torchwood, I'm glad Ianto died - he was rubbish. Gwen and Rhys are waaay better

221 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 17:48
Michael Bay is the best director... ever!!!!

222 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 17:52
They should let Shatner write a series of books set after Generations where Kirk doesn't really die but comes back and saves Picard, Janeway and all their chums. Wait a minute....

223 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 17:54
Mal Reynolds is just a thinly veiled rip-off of Han Solo

224 serpheus
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 18:37

I like that funny little green guy yoyo, he was very smart for a dyslexic.

225 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 19:00
I think that Professor Snake is mean to Harry potter cos he secretly loves him.

226 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 19:09
How cool is it that R2D2 can fly?

Cameron should have ended Titanic where it didn't sink and Rose and Jack were happy.

Who's Bruce Campbell?

I don't get The Usual Suspects... How did that guy's leg get better at the end?

M Night Shyamalan gets better with every film

I didn't get why they rave on about Garth Marenghi - it just looked like a really badly made horror show

Run Fatboy Run was far superior to Hot Fuzz and Shaun Of The Dead

The Hitch-Hiker's guide film was loads better than the book, the TV show or the radio series

227 paulchilds
Posted on Monday July 20, 2009, 19:32
Film versions of computer games are wicked!!!

228 Pelle
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 00:35
For 25 years fans have waited to see the future war between man and machine hinted at in The Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

or

McG has sparked a moribund franchise back to life, giving fans the post-apocalyptic action they’ve been craving since they first saw a metal foot crush a human skull two decades ago.

Well, it insulted me!

229 Gaylord Fecker
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 02:23
Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull is by far the best of the series if not the best film ever made

230 steveg66
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 08:24
Star Wars kid's moves are a damn sight better than Darth Maul's

231 odyessus.ithaca
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 09:24
"firefly was overrated..."

232 john j rambo
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 12:00
Is'nt this thread a little pointless?And I have to say quite depressing and sad.
To post inflamatory comments just to illicit an aggresive response from those 'unaware' of the 'joke' is just quite horrible, and dare i say almost bullying on a Jeremy Kyle scale!
I for one will look elsewhere in future for my 'movie' news, and not in this 'playground'!

233 ArtDepartmentAlbert
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 12:16
Die Another Day deserved a direct follow on... not that cheesy Casino Royale reboot.

234 ru_alpha
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 12:53
gosh, take it easy john j rambo. All threads are "a little pointless" ain't they? People is just having a bit of fun!
Any hugh....my girlfriend has one that annoys the heck outta me and she actually means it:
"Mac and Me is far superior to E.T"

235 steveg66
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 13:31
john j rambo "I for one will look elsewhere in future for my 'movie' news, and not in this 'playground'!"

Good!

ru_alpha "Mac and Me is far superior to E.T"

My missus too, and I tell her how dumb she is every time I dig her up!


236 Devil Cherub
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 13:48
Oi, Rambo!

Yer Mum!

237 cj5ar
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 13:51
Star Wars Episodes 4-6 are so much worse than episodea 1-3.

Wolverine and Cyclops should just do it and get rid of the sexual tension

238 Devil Cherub
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 13:53
Aliens on Ice? Who's with me? Anyone?

239 Devil Cherub
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 13:55
Twilight is the best Vampire movie ever!

240 paulchilds
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 14:37
Hay Rambo - the fact that the good people in here are able to come up with these insults probably says a lot more about them than you realise...

I.e. (and I include myself here) we are the geeks the jokes are aimed at - how would we know what to write otherwise?

All of the things I have put down would probably wind me up something silly if I saw them oon Twitter

241 mcmuffin
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 14:43
Barry Van Dyke should play Captain America. He's got the jaw

242 paulchilds
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 14:45
Ha ha ha - Barry Van Dyke - The Sloans are a legendary crime-fighting-illness-curing team

243 paulchilds
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 14:46
I hope Avatar is as good as Titanic

244 laurafc112
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 15:59
The one my boyfriend has tried and tested on me with increasing regularity is 'God I wish they'd remake the original Star Wars, they look crap compared to the new ones.'
Makes me clench my fists and grit my teeth every time.

245 PeterHJ313
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 16:56
Said quite genuinely by my uncle a couple of years ago:
"I think the key difference between Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter is that Lord of the Rings is really for kids".

246 Wideeye
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 17:23
It's great that Uwe Boll is bringing computer games to mainstream attention.

247 Wideeye
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 17:26
In fact sod it, it's great that Uwe Boll exists.

248 astoroth
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 17:52
it is inconcievable that nathalie portman and hayden christensen would give birth to such ugly kids.

249 zutton
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 17:58
Keanu Reeves in Cowboy Bebop? Bring it!

It's a good thing they never made a sequel to Serenity. It'd be too much of a good thing.

Thank God they decided to recast Futurama, that show needs new characters.

250 saeseetom
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 18:01
Michael Bay should re-make Alien.

Aww, I just threw up.

251 seanofthedead
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 18:43
Uwe Boll to direct the next batman film!

252 seanofthedead
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 18:47
Hugh grant would be a great james bond!

253 marylandjock74
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 20:39
Works every time, but make sure that internet terminal or WIFI is not in vicinity due to mad rush to prove you wrong:

"I'm telling you, the bird who plays Vasquez in Aliens is not the same actress who is in Terminator 2. That was her from Near Dark"

If said internet not available sit back and enjoy vehement argument!!

254 mikecruz
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 22:45
So.. we're suppose to assume Anakin is Luke's son and the whole thing is starting over again?

255 seanhanna
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 22:47
john j rambo post 232 - LOL, genius! It even started a small fight!!!

256 mikecruz
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 22:51
Star Trek is really a ripoff of Star Wars.

257 dogtanian
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 23:02
Steve Miner showed Romero a thing or two with his Day of the dead remake.

Harlem Nights showed what a true auteur eddie murphy is.

Driving the Statue of liberty through new york really made up for the poorly executed staypuft marshmallow scene in the first ghostbusters.

Those cunts who directed Aliens vs Predator could show that Cameron a thing or two.

258 polkadotty5
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 23:04
From paulchilds 220:
"In Torchwood, I'm glad Ianto died - he was rubbish. Gwen and Rhys are waaay better"

Oooooooh. Don't mention that around any of my friends at school. [14 year olds obsessed with Torchwood... like me XD]
They would positively murder you!

Which is just basically saying that your bait works (Y)

259 AYBGerrardo
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 23:33
Watchmen is most disgusting picturebook ever - I can't believe they want kids to look at this filth

260 AYBGerrardo
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 23:34
So wait, Bruce Willis sees dead people?

261 SuicydalSoldier
Posted on Wednesday July 22, 2009, 00:09
Who's your favourite DC superhero; Batman, Superman or Hulk?

Don't you think Robert Pattinson looks a bit...Gollum-ish?

Han Solo was a pussy, why else would he always be running away?

262 john j rambo
Posted on Wednesday July 22, 2009, 01:14
Competitive Geek Baiting -

seanhanna
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 22:47
john j rambo post 232 - LOL, genius! It even started a small fight!!!

Thank you kind sir!

ru_alpha
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 12:53
gosh, take it easy john j rambo. All threads are "a little pointless" ain't they? People is just having a bit of fun!

steveg66
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 13:31
john j rambo "I for one will look elsewhere in future for my 'movie' news, and not in this 'playground'!"

Good!

Devil Cherub
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 13:48
Oi, Rambo!

Yer Mum!

paulchilds
Posted on Tuesday July 21, 2009, 14:37
Hay Rambo - the fact that the good people in here are able to come up with these insults probably says a lot more about them than you realise...

I.e. (and I include myself here) we are the geeks the jokes are aimed at - how would we know what to write otherwise?

I'm truly amazed that people 'bit' at "Dear points of view" etc.. etc...





263 rendog
Posted on Wednesday July 22, 2009, 10:18
The best deleted scene ever is the one were you see marsellus wallace being stabbed in the back of the neck right at the start of pulp fiction.

264 paulchilds
Posted on Wednesday July 22, 2009, 10:47
John Rambo - you got me good and proper - kudos to you and your cunning geek bait

265 paulchilds
Posted on Wednesday July 22, 2009, 11:00
I still meant what I said though - the fact that we know these things would upset geeks probably says something about our geekiness

266 brokenking
Posted on Wednesday July 22, 2009, 14:18
This'll get me banned from the forum.

James Cameron is not a great director, he's a good director no more no less. He relys on technology far too much, never the story. Kind of like Michael Bay, whose efforts while never having any real depth are at least consistently fun.

267 Jo Wareham
Posted on Wednesday July 22, 2009, 16:51
John Rambo - joking or not in the first place, by telling us you were you didn't half kill the fun of the blog.

Also, The Cordelia giving birth to Jasmine was the best storyline Angel ever did. Brilliant acting from Charisma Carpenter

268 woody1812
Posted on Wednesday July 22, 2009, 16:56
Fight Club irresponsibly made bare knuckles bouts look as cool as taking smack did in Trainspotting. And Pitt should have kept his shirt on.

Jake Lloyd carried the prequels.

269 john j rambo
Posted on Wednesday July 22, 2009, 23:48
Let's hope that Spielberg's new 'Lincoln' project is a return to true majesty of "Hook" like proportions!

At least Judd Apatow understands the human condition(and therein it's inherent comedy), and makes relevant 'relationship' films, unlike that wannabe Woody Allen. Most Of Woody's movies don't even have 'willy's'!
Just talking an stuff?

If Doctor who is a 'Timelord'...... why is he ever fussed?

Thank god they remade the "Pink Panther".Who needs subtlety in a comedy? Peter Sellers although overtly racist, seriously underplayed 'Clouseau'. What an abslute 'tonic' Steve Martin was.Finally the broad stupid Frenchmen was brought to life!

Don't you think that "Jaws" is homoerotic on a 'Top Gun' scale?

As much as I love the 'Indiana Jones' (as unrealistic as they are) movies, the fanciful nature of his adventures is the least bitter pill to swallow. I'm all for Supernatural 'High-Jink's',(Even Crystal Skulls) However I find my 'suspension of disbelief' pushed to the limit, when no matter what the 'peril' situation , somehow his hat alway's stay's on!!!
(And don't get me started on how he knew to keep his eyes shut at the end of "Indianna & the raiders"!!)

Pixar movies are shit!
Dreamworks are so much more contemporary (They get it!)







270 palookaMA
Posted on Thursday July 23, 2009, 19:51
ID4?? I didn't see 1 through 3.

271 palookaMA
Posted on Thursday July 23, 2009, 19:54
Cameron was great in Charlies Angels but who was she in Terminator 2 again??

272 mrs_cake
Posted on Thursday July 23, 2009, 20:35
Y'all are creative for sure! The sheer amount of times I've gone 's oooh, that one's gonna hurt is impressive. I may be missing the point, but... y'all seem to be a wee bit suicidal maybe? I know if I mention some of these in a certain pub there will be guaranteed bloodshed.

Having said that, here's my two pennies' worth...

They should have kept Starbuck as a guy, making him a girl's just lame.

'Blink' was just plain stupid. They have a freaking TARDIS man, how the hell did they get caught in the past?!

A vampire with a soul? How pathetic is that? I don't know what Joss Whedon was thinking. Oooh, and then he shags the chick and loses his soul again? Jees.

Dumbledore may be gay, but so's Harry. Case in point: he can't kiss, kissing girls (okay, Cho) makes him go 'ew'; he obviously fancies Malfoy's arse or he wouldn't be so obsessed with him and follow him around like a lovesick puppy. (Drop this last one within hearing distance of a gaggle of fangirls and leg it for cover before the pro and con camps decimate each other.)

273 woody1812
Posted on Friday July 24, 2009, 13:31
I was watching one of those older, lesser Star Wars movies the other day and I could swear I saw a young Harrison Ford playing some talentless Jedi guy. You tube it!

274 Kimmycat24
Posted on Friday July 24, 2009, 20:44
Wow a lot of good ones! I am am major fangirl. Some of these will keep me and my geek friends obsessed for hours. The zombies running thing had us arguing for days. Oh the irony. LOL!

275 johnfortune2002
Posted on Friday July 24, 2009, 23:09
Yeah, but it's just a film isn't it. (To be used for pretty much anything)

276 sabbersolo
Posted on Saturday July 25, 2009, 07:22
Empire Strikes Back is clearly overrated. It should be remade. Maybe by W S Anderson.

277 paganprincess
Posted on Saturday July 25, 2009, 10:08
The vampires in Twilight are wimps! Where are the fangs, vampires are meant to have FANGS!!

278 flying_snow
Posted on Saturday July 25, 2009, 10:33
- The Watchmen film is wwaaaaaaaayyy better than the comic - I just didn't really get that. Plus, replacing a giant squid creature with a big blue god who destroyed the city totally makes more sense!

- So, remind me, which is the prequel and which is the sequel - Star Wars or Star Trek? They are both part of the same thing, right?

- Wolverine is over-exposed as a character

- Megan Fox is ugly

- When is the Emma Frost spin off movie coming out? I've gotta tell you, after seeing just how right they got her character in the Wolverine film, I am so psyched about seeing that

- Yeah, Gambit was good in Wolverine Origins but frankly I just think he was in the film for far too long. Same goes for Deadpool.

- Terminator Salvation was easily the most logical, thought-provoking and profound of the series. And McG is in no way a stupid name.

- Has no one else noticed that Christian Bale uses exactly the same voice in both Batman and Terminator?

279 scrumptrilescent
Posted on Saturday July 25, 2009, 19:38
Jaws is rubbish

280 steveg66
Posted on Monday July 27, 2009, 13:11
The plot changes and misses for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince ruined the film. This ain't baiting either it's fucking true

281 crazycatlady
Posted on Monday July 27, 2009, 14:12
The last Star Trek film with the Ewoks was the best, they're just so cute and fluffy.

282 Tiger211091
Posted on Monday July 27, 2009, 15:12
Isn't it so cool the way the WitchKing floors Gandalf on the extended edition of Return of the King?
Paris Hilton is a top class actor.

283 The900MidNightBee
Posted on Monday July 27, 2009, 15:26
'Batman Begins is better than The Dark Knight.'

284 screwedsociologist
Posted on Tuesday July 28, 2009, 02:20
The Big Bang Theory sucks either as a TV show or as an explanation for the origin of the Universe... Read the bible and watch Laguna Beach instead . (hope I get a double trolling from that one, not only from nerds but actual geeks -geeks as in, people who actually are science whizzes)

300 was totally historically accurate (now I'm just pissing of dusty historians, who were the geeks of their time)

Megan Fox isn't that hot after all. (pissing everyone this time)

The Golden Compass film adaptation totally embraced the original concept from the book. (pissing myself off)

Star Wars is completely overrated (telling the truth this time), Star Trek rules.

The American Comic has nothing to do when faced to the European Comic. (TOTALLY TRUE)

Don't say "graphic novel" dude, it's just a comic.

I fall asleep while watching Mythbusters.

Fringe is so much better than the X-Files.

The portrayal of Dr. Manhattan's glowing dick in the Watchmen movie was completely unnecessary and grotesque.

Frank Miller is overrated.

Jar Jar Binks was the only thing I liked from the whole Star Wars series.

And finally....

You nerds are all losers. Stop masturbating to Natalie Portman and lose your virginity once and for all!

285 yossarian426
Posted on Tuesday July 28, 2009, 12:18
House is just CSI with illnesses instead of murders. And both shows are repetitive, formulaic tosh. I will concede that Hugh Laurie is one of this generation's great American actors.

Also, CSI is just a glossy rip-off of Jonathan Creek.

Seriously though, House is not the most amazing show ever. It's just Scrubs without the jokes and focussing on Doctor Cox. Why is having a one-dimensional misanthrope as a central character so enthralling to everyone? Has no House fan seen even a single episode of ER? And hence been able to conclude that that show was a far superior hospital drama (if you can call House a drama) in every conceivable way; warmer, more believable, more human, more affecting, better shot, better acted...

286 risey
Posted on Tuesday July 28, 2009, 22:42
*They should do a sequel to Matrix 3... and bring back neo and trinity!

*What was the point of killing off Neo, he should've LIVED!

*Twilight has the BEST vampires, because they don't have fangs and drink human blood and are sooo dreamyyy!

*I LOVED the twins in Matrix 2, they totally made the whole film better

[If anyone actually said any of these things to me, I would freak and possibly stab them several times :) can you blame me?]

287 EvLom
Posted on Wednesday July 29, 2009, 11:38
I loved Spidey's whole 'disco down the street' boogie.

Matrix 2 and 3 were both wayyyyyy more visionary than part 1

Speed Racer is THE most underrated misunderstood film EVER!

288 cj5ar
Posted on Wednesday July 29, 2009, 13:51
Uwe Boll is the best Director ever and should make every computer game we love into a film.

I think I just made my self sick a little bit

289 Latharna_t
Posted on Wednesday July 29, 2009, 14:19
I'm sorry, I just don't think John Clane was manly. He's just not a real man's man, you know?

290 Nerky
Posted on Thursday July 30, 2009, 20:26
Bacard is waaaaaaaay better than Kirk.

Star Wars Episode 1.5: Jar Jar's Big Adventure is scheduled to start production this November.

What the hell is a Darth Vader?!

Wolverine's (2009) special effects were top notch, alot better than the likes of Transformers, The Star Wars prequels, Titanic and of course Terminator 2.

LifeSavers are my favourite sword.

Air Force One was terrible, hopefully Air Force Two will deliver this time.

What was the name of that film about the two gay guys on the mountain again? Oh yeah it was Lord Of The Rings.

Megan Fox is ugllly.

Alien vs Predator 2 deserved Best Picture at the Oscars.

Ben Affleck is a good actor.

The Godfather 3 was the most epic film i've ever seen.

Die Another Day, the greatest bond film of all time!

The Hangover was the most ridiculous unfunny film i've ever seen, The proposal on the otherhand..

Will Ferrell is funny :).

Pearl Harbour was ten times better than Saving Private Ryan, Ben Affleck really showed off his acting Skills in that one..




291 evileyeperry
Posted on Thursday July 30, 2009, 21:41
I think Jim Carrey should reprise his role as the Riddler in the next Batman film but play it more like his performance in 23

292 mosephland
Posted on Friday July 31, 2009, 07:33
Let's see....

Rorschach is the least compelling of all the watchmen. Silk spectre is a far more superior character.

Attack of the clones is better than the empire strikes back.

Nathan Fillion is a terrible actor*

Britney Spears would be perfect for a cameo in Avatar

Britney Spears is cooler than Summer Glau

Did anyone else enjoy the evident homoerotiscm found in the termanitor movies? Aronold was obviously playing the role gay.

The Killing Joke is the psychological equivalent to an archie comic

George Clooney played Bruce best.

Alicia Silverstone was fantastic as batgirl.

Venom really does suck.

The dancing in spiderman 3 was the best part of the whole movie.

Battlestar Galactica lacks the depth and subtelty of gossip girls.

Lost is actually about JJ abrhams struggle with coming out of the closet.

So was the star trek reboot.

Robert Pattinson would have been a much better Captain Kirk than Chris Pine.

Twilight is better than Let The Right One In**

*It hurts to even pretend and joke about it.
** It REALLY hurts to joke about it

293 scottishlegend
Posted on Friday July 31, 2009, 08:47
291 evileyeperry
Posted on Thursday July 30, 2009, 21:41
I think Jim Carrey should reprise his role as the Riddler in the next Batman film but play it more like his performance in 23

i will probably get slated for this but thats actualy not a bad idea all kidding aside

294 denniz87
Posted on Friday July 31, 2009, 14:48
Do you think JJ Abrams will have Darth Vader in the next Star Trek movie?

295 denniz87
Posted on Friday July 31, 2009, 14:59
I don't think showing a guy with a glowing blue dick is appropriate for a superhero movie. Kids love those films, you know. You don't see spiderman or wolverine just floating around with their business on display.

296 denniz87
Posted on Friday July 31, 2009, 15:00
Interview with the Vampire is my favourite in the Twilight series. Brad Pitt is way hotter than that pasty kid.

297 denniz87
Posted on Friday July 31, 2009, 15:05
Abigail Breslin would be brilliant as the vampire girl in a remake of Let the Right One In. That cute black kid from Terminator Salvation could also work. It's going to be so much better to see that movie in English, without them speaking in that creepy vampire language.

298 denniz87
Posted on Friday July 31, 2009, 15:08
So, they get off that island, then they go back to it, but in the past? WTF?
This kind of shit gets to run for six seasons and they cancel Knight Rider?

299 denniz87
Posted on Friday July 31, 2009, 15:10
Jim Carrey was way better as The Joker

300 ryback2007
Posted on Friday July 31, 2009, 21:36
hhmmm pretty sure jim carrey was the riddler not the joker

301 Nerky
Posted on Saturday August 1, 2009, 03:11
jeez who would've thought that the boat would sink at the end? thats just false advertising.

302 Nerky
Posted on Saturday August 1, 2009, 03:13
Donnie Darko: i dont get it.

303 Gerard Prior
Posted on Saturday August 1, 2009, 12:00
Ryback2007, you just got baited man!

'Captain Jack Harkness is like a gay Wolverine, only better!'

304 denniz87
Posted on Saturday August 1, 2009, 17:18
Dr Manhattan didn't have his goods on display in that Fantastic Four movie, so why did it have to hang out in Watchmen?

305 paganprincess
Posted on Monday August 3, 2009, 10:01
Kevin Costner is the BEST Robin Hood EVER!!! In fact he is the greatest actor around.....Errol who?

306 Jo Wareham
Posted on Monday August 3, 2009, 12:32
George Lucas just gets better at script writing with age. I

307 blindfold
Posted on Tuesday August 4, 2009, 12:25
How to make fan boys angry.

Print in your latest edition that information regarding your Movie-Conn will be online at the end of July. And then don't do it!

In fact wait right inot the following week as well just to make then go bananas!

;-p

308 bluexbandit
Posted on Thursday August 6, 2009, 21:43
1. when are they going to colorize Clerks?

2. Real Jedis would be Vegans and Luke would never have allowed Han to murder that Ton-Ton.

3. I will never let my kids watch Star Trek because of the socialist propaganda.

4. They should make a Transformers/Fast and Furious crossover.

309 Buffer
Posted on Friday August 7, 2009, 00:16
- Interview With The Vampire?
Everyone knows that Twilight is blatently the best Vampire film... EVER!
- Who else thought X-Men: The Last Stand was the best in the trilogy?
- Why wasn't the Proclaimers' 500 miles the LOTR theme?
- Harry Potter is way better that the Discworld series
- Pixar? Is that a type of camera?
- Why didn't George Lucas Win an Oscar for The Phantom Menace, all Star Wars fans know that Darth Maul is the best Sith that ever lived...
- Orlando Bloom made the Pirates Trilogy
- E.T isn't even that good
- Steven Spielberg? I hear all of his films are truely terrible...

310 scg_yob
Posted on Saturday August 8, 2009, 09:11
I think every movie that appeared in the Empire top 500 should be remade, given new special effects and made into 3D.

The only way to move forward is to steal everything that was good from the past and make it looker nicer

311 thecheez
Posted on Saturday August 8, 2009, 09:17
Ghibli? They're like Disney films, right?

312 dr_finklestein
Posted on Monday August 10, 2009, 17:00
3 D is a welcome addition to cinema.

313 marylandjock74
Posted on Monday August 10, 2009, 22:31
Battlefield Earth is highly under rated. Excellent film with really good central characters, supporting cast and engaging storyline.

314 Sheinen
Posted on Friday August 14, 2009, 16:44
Eddie Murphy = The Riddler

P2P? Isn't that a euphemism for gay sex?

Enterprise had the best Star Trek theme tune! (singing:) I've got faaaaaaith, of the heeeeaaaaarrrrt! - awesome!

Joss Whedon hasn't written a good script since 'Angel'

Why do they keep putting that weird old guy in all the Marvel films, the one who shows up for like 2 seconds? He can't even act!

I read #21's 'Thank god they killed off Firefly when they did, frankly I don't even know how that garbage got greenlit in the first place' and actually started to get angry! I think there's a geek in me and he's trying to get out...

315 skora
Posted on Monday August 17, 2009, 21:56
These have actually happened to me..

Don't you think the Italian job was so much better than the one that was made like in the 50's?? (when everyone saw the shot remake)

I don't like foriegn films.. There all shit.. Coz they ain't in English (said in response to let the right one in on my bag at work)

The dark knight is just too long (my parents said this!Ahhhh!)

Now for the imaginary ones:
Comics?? They're picture books right??

Zack and miri is better than clerks

Buffy was awful.. Where as Sarah conner chronicles....

Why wasn't the red eye robot in the space monkey film moving??

If jack Nicholson was cold why didn't he just go inside rather than freeze??

When's the sequel to revenge of the sith coming out??

I don't get starship troopers...

And my favourite:
Heath ledgers joker was just a carbon copy of the jack Nicholson and jim carrey joker...


316 BenMan
Posted on Tuesday August 18, 2009, 01:09
Someone give Paul Greengrass a fucking tripod.

317 Johnny Favourite
Posted on Friday August 21, 2009, 22:46
2001 needs a re-boot - that's right, an origin-story

318 yossarian426
Posted on Monday August 24, 2009, 13:12
denniz87
Posted on Friday July 31, 2009, 15:05
Abigail Breslin would be brilliant as the vampire girl in a remake of Let the Right One In.

Nah. Two words. Dakota. Fanning.
God I hate Dakota Fanning...

319 wgfuzzydunlop1
Posted on Saturday September 12, 2009, 03:55
Pink Panther 3: Assignment London?
Can...not...wait!

320 wgfuzzydunlop1
Posted on Saturday September 12, 2009, 04:04
EMPIRE is lacking that one vital element...
That element's name is Paul Ross!
You owe it to us to make it happen!

321 S1lent B0b
Posted on Sunday September 13, 2009, 14:19
Lets re-make Citezen Kane & The Godfather

322 urbanvoodoodoll
Posted on Tuesday December 1, 2009, 11:07
How about:
Donnie Darko makes no sense!

OR

I thought Jigsaw died in Saw III?

323 tummybunny
Posted on Saturday January 2, 2010, 06:19
Nobody can truly appreciate Star Wars until they've seen it in its original mono, as the director intended.

324 Dr Science
Posted on Tuesday February 16, 2010, 18:37
I thought it was better when they updated the Indiana Jones movies with Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner

The thing I don't like about Charlie Kaufman is how derivative he is.

Cinema hasn't evolved since the 70s - it's all just technology and good teeth these days.

British gangster movies have always portrayed the true british character better than any other genre - that's why they're the best british films. That - and their freshness and originality

None of John Carpenter's films are as good as his soundtracks - he should have been a pop star

League of Extroadinary Gentlemen may have its faults but it captured the essence of Moore's original better than any other adaptation of his work

Scorcese doesn't deserve an oscar - all he ever does is glorify violence and criminality - that kind of irresponsibility shouldn't be encouraged. He really should have won for Kundun.

325 XanMan
Posted on Wednesday February 17, 2010, 08:26
On how much better LOTR is compared to Harry Potter may I quote E. Cartman - "Go ahead and play Harry Butthole Pussy Potter!"

326 DJH17
Posted on Wednesday March 24, 2010, 16:14
I like this post

327 angier21
Posted on Friday July 23, 2010, 06:19
OK, let's see if I can do this without totally pissing myself off...

Frank Miller is a directs films better than he makes comics.

I'm glad The Sex Bob-Ombs broke up. Scott was really a terrible bassist.

James Cameron is a shit director. Titanic was half worth watching, AT BEST.

The Long Halloween? Please... Dark Victory SO made the series.

Breaking Dawn was the best of the series.

L is a TERRIBLE detective!

Twilight>The Wolfman remake>Van Helsing>Underworld>Interview with the Vampire>Bram Stoker's Dracula>Nosferatu>Let the Right One In

The American remake remake of Let the Right One In looks like a stunner. Same with The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Adam West WAS the best Batman!

Star Wars vs. Star Trek? There's a difference?? (one of my friends actually said this).

Intolerable Cruelty was the Coen Brothers best film, without a doubt.

328 gazpop
Posted on Wednesday August 4, 2010, 18:16
tip of the hat to brianshields25 for his tipping of hat to scruffybobby with 'Wesley Crusher was fuckin' badass' . I DID spit out my drink.

1. I can't believe they let Tom Cruise's bird cop it at the end.....she made that film! And where's your sense of romance Mr Nolan?

2. I cannot believe they haven't remade Casablanca yet? With Hugh Grant and Kate Hudson. Or at the least re-released Casablanca. But in colour. 3D colour! Wake up Hollywood!!

3. I hope they get Jackie Chan to play Kato

4. Is it me? or is Jean Luc-Picard gay? And why doesn't he sound french? Or smell? Or run from a fight? Or eat garlic? And why doesn't he smoke? Or stagger around the cockpit? Or maul the female officers?

5. In that film The Village, what on earth were those aliens doing in the cupboard? Were they hungry or something?

6. What's the point of having a suitcase with a light in it? And noone knows what's in it? Does the light go off when the case is closed? Cos if it doesn't you're talking a waste of energy AND a large battery bill!

329 TheAmazingOctopus
Posted on Sunday September 26, 2010, 07:35
I think it was really clever how Tim Burton made The Joker kill Batman's parents.

Or:

I really want to see that Tim Burton film, Coraline.*

*That one pisses me off!

330 Rickie.Littlewood
Posted on Wednesday December 29, 2010, 09:32
2010: The year we make contact pisses all over 2001: A space odysee!!!

331 JonArmstrong
Posted on Wednesday December 29, 2010, 22:31
Sylvester Stallone was awesome as Juge Dredd

332 Jack_Grimm
Posted on Friday February 11, 2011, 00:30
-Gene Hunt is a pussy

-Van Williams was shit as The Green Hornet compared to Seth Rogen

-I hope Steven Moffat brings back Rose for season 6 or i'm not watching it!

-Why doesn't Yoda speak properly?

- The Meta-Crisis Doctor was a brilliant piece of writing by RTD

-Robert Downey Jr is a better Holmes than Benedict Cumberbatch and Jeremy Brett put together!

333 Jack_Grimm
Posted on Friday February 11, 2011, 00:35
@TheAmazingOctopus

'I really want to see that Tim Burton film, Coraline'

Hold on, someone actually said that to you!!!

334 popegeist
Posted on Thursday February 17, 2011, 03:46
You know Capt. Picard was far a superior Capt. than Kirk could ever hope to be.

335 popegeist
Posted on Thursday February 17, 2011, 03:51
Oh yeah??? Kirk could do the Kessel run in LESS than 5 parsecs....

336 danob
Posted on Saturday February 26, 2011, 10:18
the only thing that return of the jedi has got going for it was the ewoks there so cute

337 TomBowler
Posted on Tuesday October 18, 2011, 14:04
i love when dumbledore says "you shall not pass!" in star trek.

i'm so glad lucas fixed up those dodgy special effects from the original star wars.

hitmen talking about hamburgers? sounds boring.

338 denz19
Posted on Monday April 2, 2012, 18:55
"Nathan Fillion is the reason Firefly was cancelled"

"Ewoks would win against the Wookies"

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"And just to add i hope the film makers , don't make a huge mistake by picking a non-american to play"  SmithyBoi
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Who Should Be Captain America?
"Trickey one this , it can't be a black man so it must be someone like Zac Efron. He could make quite"  SmithyBoi
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Who Should Be Captain America?
"Has Michael Fassbender been mentioned? I think he'd be absolutely brilliant in th"  Barry
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A Bright Side For The Spider-Man Reboot: A New Hope For Mary-Jane
"If they are going for the teen audience I reckon Emma Roberts (Julia Roberts niece). She is a natur"  Hasnayn
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A Bright Side For The Spider-Man Reboot: A New Hope For Mary-Jane
"I have no problems with the cast from the current trilogy, though I agree that MJ became overly drip"  Hillsman
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A Bright Side For The Spider-Man Reboot: A New Hope For Mary-Jane
"I think introduce Gwen first in any reboot and kill her off in a horrible shock ending. &l"  jimoakley666
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A Bright Side For The Spider-Man Reboot: A New Hope For Mary-Jane
"@Ramirez: I'm not sure how much say Marvel has in the Spiderman films, but since one of the big rece"  shinysavage
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A Bright Side For The Spider-Man Reboot: A New Hope For Mary-Jane
"I have to be honest - I am delighted with this reboot. I never got on with Tobey Maguire or Dunst in"  Ramirez
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A Bright Side For The Spider-Man Reboot: A New Hope For Mary-Jane
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