Show Report

Following the Oscars' trend for spreading prizes thin, Episode III and Pride and Prejudice were the night’s comparatively big winners with two awards each: Sony Ericsson Scene of the Year and Best Sci-Fi for Episode III, Best Newcomer for Kelly Reilly and Best British Film for P&P. Reilly was held up at work (hang on, she’s n actress, so doesn’t this technically count as work?) but Joe Wright and a gaggle of the cast trooped up to the stage to collect their trophy and offering a wry anecdote about test audiences in exchange, while George Lucas phoned in an acceptance speech from the set of Indiana Jones 4 (or so he claimed!) before handing collection duties over to producer Rick McCallum.  

Thandie Newton

Thandie Newton followed her BAFTA triumph with the Best Actress award for her turn in Crash, making a short but sweet speech, while Johnny Depp hooked Best Actor from Charlie And The Chocolate Factory. Unfortunately, Johnny’s absence meant that we got not only a taped speech, but a twelve-minute rant from Johnny Vegas (sample quote: “Channel 4 welcomed me with open arms, but no, I tried to embrace film and it hugged me like an auntie with a penis”). The stunned look on the faces of Vegas virgins was suitably priceless.

Matt Stone and Trey Parker scooped Best Comedy for Team America: World Police and sent a typically energetic acceptance tape with party poppers and everything. Now that’s how to celebrate a win folks: the pop don’t stop just because you’ve turned 25.  

Shane Black collected Best Thriller for his Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, enchanting the audience with chat about how thick American studio execs can be (tell us more, we’re listening). “Mostly though, I’d like to thank my beautiful young son Alex,” Black says, deadpan. “No, I’m kidding, I’m bullshitting, I don’t have a son, but I want acting roles. Thank you very much.”  

Neil Marshall and The Descent girls were erring on the tipsy side when they got to the aftershow party, thanks to their winning Best Horror to add to The Descent’s trophy cabinet. “I’m totally chuffed with it but it’s not mine, it’s ours, it’s everybody who was – Christian’s hiding at the table there and it’s just as much his fault as everybody else – and Sam, and Simon and John and the whole works so thank you very much Empire and er, fuck yeah!” said Neil, before heading his posse back to the table for some serious celebrating.  

Neil Marshall

Prima Dr Lecter and latterday posh man (in Woody Allen’s dreamworld at any rate) Brian Cox was voted your Empire Icon, and was presented the award by his old mate Paul Greengrass. “I think I’ve conned my entire life,” he deadpanned. “I think the only way you get on in this business is by conning. It’s all a con, and any of us who try to take it seriously should try to remember that, but it’s a great business and I’m very, very, very lucky to be part of it.”  

The ever-lovely Nick Park and Steve Box won Best Director for their Oscar-winning success, Wallace And Gromit: The Curse Of The Were Rabbit and were clearly gobsmacked to beat off competition that included Spielberg and Peter Jackson. “It is ridiculous,” said Park, “but I bet Steven Spielberg can’t make plasticine models.” Touché.  

Tony Curtis’ ‘The Persuaders’ co-star Roger Moore presented him with the Empire Lifetime Achievement Award. The screen legend, whose career has spanned seven decades and included highlights with Spartacus and Some Like It Hot among other greats, received a standing ovation and was, quite understandably, deeply moved by the honour: “All of you - just making movies is such a wonderful experience for all of us,” said the star. “That’s what we share all of us, that’s what makes us brothers and sisters. We’re comrades.”  

Andy Serkis

Stephen Frears was also honoured, winning the Inspiration Award for a career that has been stuffed full of variety and included My Beautiful Laundrette, Dirty Pretty Things and, most recently, Mrs Henderson Presents. The Harry Potter films were likewise bestowed with an honorary award for their contribution to cinema, which was gratefully received by producer David Heyman and stars Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint. “When I optioned these books nine years ago I had no idea that they would become what they have become,” said Heyman. “I thought that at best they’d be a nice medium-sized British film. Well medium-sized they aren’t, our credits run at about 30 minutes long so that speaks to that, but British they most certainly are and this award is really an acknowledgement of all the Britishness.”  

But it was King Kong who took away the highest accolade of the evening, scoring best film. Andy Serkis collected the trophy: “This was absolutely, really needed because we were doing really badly this year and this film was made with a lot of passion and a lot of love,” he said. “The script was crafted, it was a very political film and it only cost $270 million. We desperately needed this, thank you very much.” Slim Fast’s latest pin-up child, Peter Jackson, sent a very funny video filled with outtakes from the shoot and a priceless extra showing exactly how they got Kong back to New York.  

Jackson eventually managed to stop playing pranks for long enough to say thank you. “We were very, very proud of the film that we made, and even more so now that you’ve given us this wonderful award,” he said. “Thank you Empire magazine and thanks to all of the Empire readers. We really appreciate this.”  

And with that, it’s time for Empire to gather its shoes together and pick over the party debris towards bed. We’ll see you next year for more of the same.