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Hoffman Heralded

He may not beat a Hobbit in the height department but Dustin Hoffman received a giant-sized reception when he received an Empire Lifetime Achievement Award last night and insisted not only on taking the stage for a good half hour or so but ensured the evening's winners also joined him on the podium.
Full of praise for the event, Hoffman sparked off his characteristically tenacious grasp on the audience's attention by commenting, "You guys have created quite an evening" before admitting he had been slightly confused at first when he heard about his gong. "I thought when they said it was the Empire awards, it was the British Empire giving them. So I wrote a speech, I worked on it and then I realised it was a magazine." But any perplexity was quickly dismissed when he arrived at the shebang and rather bizarrely struck up an instant rapport with funny man of the moment Johnny Vegas – present to pick up the Best Actress prize on behalf of Kirsten Dunst. "And it was worth being here for no other reason than seeing Tom Cruise and Johnny Vegas in the same room" Hoffman enthused. "I think Johnny Vegas is a bit of a genius."
Somehow packing in a Donald Trump blow job joke while calling for more vodka to be brought on stage and ruffling Vegas' hair, the star of The Graduate, Midnight Cowboy and Rain Man then graciously called every winner of the night up on stage to share his moment. Surrounded by the stellar gathering of Benicio Del Toro, Samanta Morton, Hugh Grant, Christopher Lee and Ian McKellan, Hoffman bathed in the glory of his peers, uttered a few well-chosen words about his art, and proudly declared that such a Lifetime Achievement award doesn't mean we'll see the last of him. Announcing "I expect to see you all back here in twenty years," the legend declared, "I'm not getting old alone folks, I'm taking you all with me."
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